How to keep sex fun after the menopause

Your sex life is over after the menopause, right? No, definitely not true. But menopause comes with pysical discomfort that hinders your sex life, doesn’t it? It’s possible. Especially vaginal dryness can cause discomfort during sex. Your sex drive might also temporarily decrease. There are simple tricks, and occassionally medical tools, that can help you keep your sex life amazing, even after the menopause. And we are happy to share those with you.

This is how the menopause affects your sex life

The negative effect of the menopause on your sex life has everything to do with estrogen. Your ovaries produce increasingly less estrogen during the menopause. Testosterone levels also usually decrease. This has four consequences:

• You might experience vaginal dryness caused by decreased hormone levels;
• Your vaginal wall and labia become thinner and more sensitive;
• You might experience urinary incontinence;
• Your libido decreases, because less hormones means a lower sex drive.

Also read: Tips for women with low sex drive

How to prevent pain during sex

Vaginal dryness and a more sensitive vaginal wall can cause pain during sex. If you keep experiencing pain while being intimate with your partner, eventually you might not feel like having sex as much. That’s a shame! There are a couple of simple solutions:

• Use lubricant. A lot of lubricant. This makes stimulating and penetrating your erogenous zone much easier. And the pain will decrease significantly.
• Make sure you have a diverse sex life: try different sex positions and vary your routines. This way, different areas are stimulated, which prevents overstimulation. Another plus: variation helps to increase your sex drive.
• Use fun sex toys! If using your fingers doesn’t feel comfortable, a soft vibrator that allows you to adjust the intensity of the vibrations is a great alternative. Experiment with different toys and discover what you like.

Urinary incontinence? Train your pelvic floor

Urinary incontinence is never pleasant, especially not while having sex. Leaking urine during sex is more common than you might think, but women generally don’t like to talk about it. Discuss it with your partner, they will likely understand that it’s not your fault. Training your pelvic floor muscles can help you control your bladder, so you don’t leak as much. Using Kegel balls on a daily basis helps tighten your muscles. You can also ask your GP or physical therapist for help. Another tip: go to the toilet before having sex to make sure your bladder is as empty as possible.

Lees ook: Kegel balls: how do they work?

Why do women have a decreased sex drive after the menopause?

The libido is so complex that the reason behind decreased sex drive after the menopause is difficult to identify. For decades, loss of libido has been attributed to the ovaries and changes in hormones. Others say it’s because of insecurity caused by a changing body. Some women gain weight because their metabolism slows down. As you get older, you’ll also get wrinkles and your skin won’t be as tight as it used to be. Those bodily changes can cause a mental blockage for an exciting sex life, accoring to researchers. What can you do to keep your libido on the same level?

• Stay active in bed: vary, experiment, and make it fun for yourself;
• Don’t feel like having sex at all? Take your time during foreplay to get in the mood. Caress each other, watch a romantic porn video, or take a shower together.
• Work on your body and mind and try to accept your changing body. Everyone gets older, even your lover. And that’s okay!

Getting pregnant is possible during the menopause

Not many women know that you can get pregnant during the menopause, because the menopause is generally considered a period of about 12 months without menstruation. However, some women still ovulate during this period. Sometimes they bleed as well, but not always, which means that it really is possible to get pregnant during the menopause.

A better sex life after the menopause: it’s possible

Not worrying about menstruation or pregnancy (after the menopause of course), an increased sexual awareness of the body, and the feeling that your body truly is yours. These are a couple of reasons that your sex life can be even better after the menopause. Less worrying and more confidence after the menopause can give you a significant boost. Some even say that it can lead to more intense orgasms.

Find help if you think your sex life is ‘hopeless’

Fortunately, there is only a small percentage of women who would describe their sex life after the menopause as ‘hopeless’. Your sex drive won’t increase, you don’t feel like having sex, and you don’t think your body is sexy at all. It’s a horrible feeling, but know that you’re not alone. Be brave and find help. Your GP can help you or refer you to a specialist who can help you find the cause and solution to your problem. Because even after the menopause, sexual pleasure is an important aspect of your relationship.