Giving a sensual massage: how to start?

sensual massage

Do you like to surprise your partner? Or have you been together for a long time and have the sparks stopped flying in the bedroom? Then it’s time to do something about it. By giving each other a sensual massage for example. This will not only make you feel completely relaxed, but it can also build up erotic tension. How do you start such a massage and which techniques can you use? We will tell you all about it in this blog post…

What is a sensual massage?

The name says it all: a sensual is a massage to arouse the other. By touching the right spots – and avoiding other areas – you can give someone an erotic massage.

Sensual massage: what do you need?

You don’t need much for an erotic massage. However, one thing is indispensable, and that is a good massage oil or lotion. There are various options to choose from. We will briefly explain the differences between these options.

Massage oil

Massage oil is by far the most commonly used for massages. This is a lovely smooth oil, so your hands easily glide over the other person’s body. There are different kinds of massage oil. For example, there is oil that you use during a body-to-body massage which is extra smooth. There is also massage oil that has a warming effect. This warms up on the body and the warmth will relax the muscles even more during the massage. There are also oils with flavor. This is perfect for oral sex for example, but keep in mind that it is not suitable for use during actual sexual intercourse. There are other special oils for that, which we will tell you more about below.


Massage gel is traditionally used during Japanese nuru massages. This is a body-to-body massage where you massage the other person’s body with your own body. The gel is thicker than oil and offers long-lasting smoothness. It also doesn’t stain, which is nice when you’re using it in bed.

Massage candle

A massage candle is a special kind of candle. It is not made of candle wax, but of congealed massage oil. By lighting the candle, the oil will slowly melt. The massage oil can then be poured onto the body or into your hands. The advantage of a massage candle is that it creates a nice atmosphere and that the oil is automatically warmed up. The disadvantage is that you will have to wait until a sufficient amount of oil has melted.

Two-in-one massage oil

Two-in-one massage oil is not only suitable for massaging. You can also use it as a lubricant. In contrast to regular massage oils, you can safely use this kind of oil during sexual intercourse. Condoms are not affected by it and by using a 2-in-1 oil, women are not at risk of getting any internal infections. It is highly recommended to use this oil when your sensual massage leads to sex.

Besides good oil, lotion or gel, it is also nice to be in a pleasant room during a massage. In most cases, this will be on the bed in your bedroom. By closing the curtains, lighting candles and putting on your favorite music, you’ll get in the mood for a nice massage even more.

Step 1: Sit on your partner’s buttocks

The best position for massaging your loved one is when he or she is lying on his or her belly. You can sit on your partner’s buttocks or just below them, on the thighs. Your lover is naked or at least doesn’t wear a shirt and long pants. It’s best if you don’t wear too many clothes either, because jeans don’t feel comfortable on naked skin. For example, you can both still keep your boxer shorts or panties on. Make sure in advance that the temperature in the bedroom is pleasant.

Step 2: Warm the oil in your hands

Rub your hands (and the oil) together to warm them up. There is nothing more disappointing than looking forward to a nice massage and then feeling two cold hands on your neck or feel cold oil being poured on your back. So make sure that both your hands and the oil are warm.

Step 3: Start with the neck and shoulders

Although everyone is different, the neck and shoulders often hold the most tension. Therefore it is the best place to start a massage. Although this part of the body is not necessarily erotic, the neck is an erogenous area. Glide your fingers along the neck from time to time, while kneading the neck and shoulders firmly. Just like you do with bread or pizza dough for example. By paying attention to your partner’s body language – or asking if you need to massage harder or softer – you can be sure the other person will like it too.

Step 4: Massage the entire back of the body

The point of a sensual massage is to massage the entire back of the body, and to avoid immediately going to the genitals. The buttocks should be the last to be massaged, which comes after massaging the shoulders, neck, back, arms and legs. From time to time, you can gently glide your fingers over her labia or his balls, to start arousing your partner.

Step 5: It’s time for the front

When your lover is completely relaxed thanks to the massage of the back of the body, it is now time for the front of the body. Again, it is important to skip the most sensitive spots at first. This way, intense, erotic tension builds up, which doesn’t happen if you immediately start massaging the penis or breasts. Therefore start massaging your partner’s arms and legs. Then go to the hips, belly and chest. Once in a while, you can tease the nipples or genitals, or gently caress them. But make sure that the focus is on the other parts of the body first.

Step 6: Ready for the real thing

We are 100% sure that this technique works for every sensual massage. If you’ve only gently touched your partner’s sensitive spots from time to time during the massage, your partner will be very aroused by now. Now it’s time to touch the most intimate areas of his or her body. Warm up some oil again and let it drip on her breasts or his chest. Suck on her nipples as you massage her breasts. Men’s nipples are also a sensitive area. Massaging the penis with lots of oil often provides great pleasure. By sitting on your partner’s legs and using your slick hands to give him a handjob, you are in control and you will make him wild with desire.

Step 7: Finish it they way you want

The way you aroused your partner probably aroused you as well. Are you going to continue massaging him or her or is it going to lead to sex? Of course, that’s your choice. Enjoy it!

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