FALLing #3

I’m sitting on the sofa in my sweatpants and I stare at the wall. I think about three days ago. The day that I went for a walk with Steven and my 24 hours of passion of love started. After those 24 hours, I felt fantastic, almost euphoric; I got my work done in record time, my cupboards are completely stocked, and my house never smelled this good. Even now, I can vaguely smell the scent of lilies. Today however, everything is different. I feel lethargic and I know exactly why. Besides a text message thanking me for a great time, I haven’t heard from Steven at all… Is this it? I allow myself to wallow in self-pity for an hour before I decide it’s enough. It’s time to take care of myself and if I really want to be with Steven, I can contact him myself. I go for a run to clear my head. The fresh air, the oxygen in my blood, the wind blowing through my hair, and the music in my ears make me forget everything, for a little while at least. After taking a refreshing shower, I decide to be direct and I text Steven if he wants to meet again. I doesn’t take long for him to send a cryptic text back: “it’s complicated, but I want to explain it to you personally. Are you available tonight?” I get a bad feeling and I’m not sure if I want to respond to that, but then I decide I need to know what’s going on. When I arrive at Steven’s house, I get nervous. My hands are clammy and I feel cold. I’m excited that I’m seeing him again, but I’m also nervous for the rejection that’s he’s probably going to give me. In my head, I’ve already worked out twenty different ‘it’s complicated’ scenarios and none of them work out well for me. I get out of my car and I hesitate. I don’t know what to do. What I really want is to go back home, but there’s no way back now. Steven’s already opened the front door. He has the same look of doubt on his face. As soon as I’m standing in front on him, he wants to pull me into him, but he changes his mind. He gives me a quick kiss on my face and he lets me in. 

What is the meaning of this? My last hope and courage slowly fade away.

With a heavy heart, I follow Steven into the living room. I feel very self-conscious. Because of all my tension and nervousness, before I even sit down, I blurt out “well, let’s have it then.” Steven looks at me slightly shocked and I can see that he’s just as nervous. His mouth is tense and his hands are closed. He doesn’t know where to start and he mumbles something like “it’s my job…” This makes me relax a little, but I wait until he tells me the whole story. The bottomline is that he wants nothing more than to keep seeing me, but he doesn’t want to take away my freedom because he has to go away for a month for work. Relieved, a swear word rolls off my tongue. Steven looks at me with a surprised look on his face and I can’t help but have an awkward laughing fit. After about a minute, I’m able to stop laughing and I explain to Steven that there were many things that I expected him to say, but not this. With flushed cheeks, I tell him that I fabricated many horrible stories in my head and that I really want to see him again. That I don’t mind that he has to leave for a couple of weeks, as long as he’s honest about it. Before I know it, Steven dives on top of me and plants kisses all over my face. Happiness washes over me and I feel giddy. On a whim, I decide to tickle him. Within a couple of minutes, we’re rolling on the floor together. Every last bit of tension is gone and the room fills with the sound of our laughter. When we lie next to each other on the floor to catch our breath, suddenly our passion takes over. Arms, legs, and mouths are flying all over the place. It’s like we haven’t seen each other in weeks and our skin hunger needs to be satisfied immediately. Barely recovered from the tickle session, in no time at all I’m in my lingerie with Steven on top of me. I feel his arousal push against my lower belly and without hesitation, I pull down my thong and his boxer shorts. Seconds later, he lies naked between my legs. I can’t wait any longer and I push my hips upwards, so Steven can glide inside me. I move my hips slowly, but this is not a rhythm that we can maintain for long. Steven grabs my hair and takes over control. Our love making session consists of pure lust. It’s intense and full of passion. While Steven picks up the speed, I push my nails into his back. I don’t have any control anymore. The sex is unrestrained and fast, but it’s a quickie like none before.

I didn’t know that a quickie could be like this, that I would enjoy it this much. 

Afterwards, Steven pins me down and looks at me intensely, like I’m the most beautiful creature on earth. I feel the need to cuddle and completely melt into Steven, but I don’t. I tell myself that I should take it slow, because love makes everything more difficult. But this man makes me want to sing, to dance through the rain, and all of that already on the third date. In the meantime, Steven puts his mouth next to my ear and whispers “you’re mine, all mine.” A shiver goes from my ear all the way down through my spine. His words give me goosebumps and I push my body against his to feel his warmth. That’s when the arousal starts again… With my hands, I caress Steven’s upper arms, his shoulders, and his neck. I enjoy the sensation of my hands on his skin. It feels like we’re the only people in the world, covered in a blanket of passion and love. Between my legs, I can feel that Steven’s fire is lit again as well. He rolls on his side and pulls me with him, so we can look at each other and at the same time explore each other’s bodies. This time, it’s not fast and rough, but we take the time to explore every inch. That’s how I find out that Steven enjoys it when I use my nails to trace a path from his side to his loins, and he learns that not my ears, but my neck is a sensitive spot. When he arrives at my vulva, he touches me everywhere, but not my most sensitive spot. But I know how to play that game too. I follow his movements, but make sure that it looks like I’m touching him by accident. Steven is on to me however and goes a step further as well. He slowly moves his finger over my clitoris every now and then. This is enough to make me crazy with desire. He knows I want him, but he doesn’t go any further than sliding his finger inside me and touching my G-spot. A growl of frustration builds up in the back of my throat. I need to feel this man inside me. For two seconds, I pretend that I’m fine with what’s going on, but then I push Steven’s shoulder away so I can sit on top of him. Out of revenge, I give Steven a blowjob very slowly. I want him to feel just as frustrated as me and to want me just as deperately as I want him. It doesn’t take long for me to reach my goal. I feel the muscles in his body tense and his hands try to get me on top of him, but I don’t give in. Not that quickly anyway! I enjoy being in control and I love the feeling of being wanted that he gives me. Only when I can’t hold off any longer, I let Steven glide inside me and I make love to him like no woman has ever done before.