You’re sexy and you know it: discover your sexy self!

Some naturally have it, while others have to put in some effort. But let’s be honest: there’s something sexy about every woman.  Something undefined, seductive, and exciting. How to let your inner seductress out? Embrace yourself and embrace your sexy self.

Looking sexy versus feeling sexy

Everyone knows them: those women who light up a room as soon as they enter it. Women who effortlessly draw attention whenever they are. Women who make every movement and every glance seem seductive.

Not that they do that on purpose. Many women who are blessed with a natural attraction aren’t necessarily sexy in a traditional way. Attraction is not always about short skirts, high heels, and loads of make-up on your face. Your level of sexy depends on completely different factors.

State of mind

There is a huge difference between looking sexy and feeling sexy. A sexy look is purely about the clothes you wear and how you do your make-up, while feeling sexy is a state of mind. It’s difficult to be sexy if you don’t feel sexy on the inside. Confidence and self-love are still the foundation of unbridled sexyness. No make-up brush can compete with that.

The best thing about feeling sexy? It’s a huge boost for your sex life. Nothing creates that passionate spark in your sexual energy more than your own inner naughtiness. Sexual energy gives you power because it comes from within yourself.

Also read: The importance of self-love

You’re sexy for yourself

You shouldn’t need someone to make you feel sexy. It is and remains part of your own femininity. If you let it flow, you’ll see that your confidence grows and that you feel more connected to yourself.

In fact, if you discover your sexy self, and embrace and celebrate it, it’s going to have a positive effect in different areas of your life as well: work, friendship, relationships, and your dreams for the future. Precisely because you feel more sure about yourself. Oscar Wilde said: ‘To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.’ Who are we to question him, right?

Stigmas surrounding sexyness

Still, many women only see their sexyness in the context of sex and sensuality with someone else. They imagine naked bodies, long hair waving in the wind, and swaying hips on the dancefloor while someone else is watching your every move.

Although that can be very sexy of course, our connection to sensuality goes much deeper than just arousing another person, or a purely external expression.

Naked and alone

It’s about how we feel when we have peeled off all those layers of make-up, taken off all our clothes, and lie in bed completely naked. Alone. How do we relate to ourselves then? Do we still feel good about ourselves? Even without the piercing and longing looks from someone else?

If we also feel good about ourselves when we’re alone, it does wonders for the way we live our lives. We start to come alive more, we feel braver, we are better equipped to handle obstacles, and we don’t flinch every time we’re faced with a setback or a negative comment. Because we know what we’re worth.

Feeling sexy during a pandemic? Difficult.

That’s all well and good when the world isn’t on fire, but at the moment we have other things to worry about. Right?

You might think that too. Perhaps you’re worried about your health, the situation of working from home while taking care of your kids starts to overwhelm you, or there’s not much social contact in your life anymore and you feel lonely.

It makes total sense that you don’t feel very sexy in those circumstances and retreat in your world of unwashed hair, comfortable pants, and a never-changing grim expression on your face. Nobody will see it anyway.

Restoring connection

When you’re in a stressful situation, it’s very normal to lose the balance between body and mind. It’s difficult to restore that connection with your body, because your mind is busy protecting you from fears and anger.

So feeling sexy probably isn’t exactly on your list of priorities at the moment. However, you’re actually denying yourself an essential part of being a woman. It can have such a positive effect if you lean into it a bit more.

Dance!

Did you spend the last couple of months feeeling anxious? Then a little sexyness can help remind you what your pre-pandemic life looked like. Put on some music, turn it up to eleven, and dance your heart out on your own improvised living room dancefloor. Dance for yourself and feel that lively energy flow through your body. Channel your inner Shakira and shake those hips without worrying about what you look like.

Want to bet that it will make you feel much better and will make your future look much brighter? Things like Yoga, breathing exercises, a brisk walk, and cardio all have the same effect. They connect your body and mind and make you feel at home again in your body.

Result? A better mood and sometimes even an increase in libido. Win-win.

Our guide for sexyness!

Want to discover your sexy self and lean into your female strength? Here are three tips:

1) Embrace your nakedness

Perhaps you tend to avoid mirrors as much as possible. Or to wear oversized clothing to hide your body, because you don’t think your pretty or thin enough. Newsflash: your body in a masterpiece. It’s unique, it’s beautiful, and it’s all yours. Your body helps you flirt, seduce, and get down and dirty. So if your body can give you all that, don’t you agree it’s a shame to feel insecure about it?

Take off your clothes and stand in front of the mirror. Look at your body and compliment it: it deserves it after all that criticism it often receives. Feeling a little bit better about yourself yet? Good.

Try to make some time during the day for ‘nude moments’, so you can get used to your naked body. Of course we’re not saying you should be naked all the time, but sometimes it’s nice not to put on clothes right away after a shower. You’ll notice that you’ll feel more connected to your feminity and sensuality. And that teaches you to see the beauty of your own body and makes sure that your sexual energy has a chance to flow. You can even buy some sexy lingerie sets to make you feel even more sexy.

 2) Treat yourself

Whether you take a warm bath, buy yourself a new sex toy, or read a book like ‘Sexy Feminism’: you deserve it. Many women feel their sexy self wither away because they get overwhelmed with caring for others.  They try to build a career, have small children to look after, have a social life, and in the meantime feel like they come up short in all areas. They don’t have time for themselves, even though that is exactly what they need.

So treat yourself every now and then. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it can be as simple as using your favourite lotion every morning. Or wearing a silk nightgown that sways around your body when you walk. Or a warm shower where you consciously feel the water flowing over your body.

Why it’s okay to treat yourself? If you use your senses to the fullest, you automatically become more aware of your body and the way it can be stimulated. You also shed your insecuritues and feel at home in your body. Isn’t that exactly what your sexy self is craving?

3) Embrace other women

Jealousy is a monster. Every day we are surrounded by beautiful, strong, kind, successful, and smart women. Unfortunately, our own insecurities cause us not to approach each other with an open mind. We subconsciously analyse other women, compare our own shortcomings to those of others, and we’re secretly pleased if we discover fault in our opponent.

What we don’t realise is that that constant battle hurts our confidence and our relationship with that other person. We judge and complain about others, because we’re afraid we can’t compete with other women.

What if we switch roles? What if we acknowledge the beauty, talent, and skills of other women? What if we think: ‘You’re beautiful, and so am I!’? Better yet, what if we say it out loud and strengthen our connection? When you’re open-minden towards other women and don’t see them as a threat, you’re confident enough to truly be sexy.

What does sexy mean to you?

We all have well-defined ideas on what is ‘sexy’. Often these ideas are shaped by our background and culture, and the images we see on a daily basis of so-called ideal women. Unfortunately, these images are usually not very inclusive and the range of skin colour, gender, and body type is often very limited.

Don’t let any of that bring you down. Take the power back and define what sexy means to you. Nobody can tell you you’re not sexy, and to be honest, some else’s opinion is even completely irrelevant. What is important is that you feel good about yourself. So release your female power, allow yourself to feel sexy, and you’ll notice that you’ll walk through life much more confidently. You’re sexy and you know it!

Also read: Better sex? Don’t be afraid to say what you want