This is the famous list of 36 questions to make you fall in love


Renowned American psychologist Arthur Aron studied the ins and outs of love for many decades. He wanted to scientifically explain how he fell in love with his wife. With her help, Aron developed a method to fall in love with someone very quickly. How it works? Ask each other a specific set of 36 questions and look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.

Intimacy in the blink of an eye

Of course it’s not possible to fall in love with just about anyone. Aron’s famous list of questions doesn’t work miracles. However, it is very useful if you quickly want to find out if someone could be your true love or not. The questions get very deep very quickly. No time for small talk or chats about the weather, instead, you ask each other questions that reveal your life vision and inner thoughts.

The answers reveal very personal, and sometimes intimate, information, so you will get to know each other very well in a short period of time. For that purpose, it’s important to be open and vulnerable while answering the questions. The same goes for the 4 minutes that you’re looking into each other’s eyes.

The experiment: 36 questions that lead to love

Want to try it yourself? Make sure to go through the entire list of questions, consisting of three parts, with your crush. Start with question 1 and look each other in the eyes for 4 minutes after you’ve completed the entire list. Use the timer on your smartphone to keep track of time. Of course the big question to ask yourself after the experiment is: do I feel butterflies? Or maybe even: did I fall in love?

Part 1

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Part 2

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Part 3

25. Make three true ‘we’ statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling…’
26. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share…’
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Also read: The science behind falling in love

Did you fall in love?

By asking each other these intimate questions in a short period of time, you have found out many things about each other. You may now even know more about that other person than you know about your friends. Perhaps you are now very interested in your conversation partner, or maybe there are even some sparks flying. It’s also possible that you don’t match at all and that you both have very different ideas about life. Complete the experiment and you’ll know.

Also read: The wondrous world of eye contact

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