Seduce your solo sex life: tips and tricks

solo sex

Ask yourself: is there a lot of variation in my solo sex life or am I using the same technique over and over? If you’re ready to spice up your sex life, the tips below will help you get started!

Solo sex life: what is that exactly?

Great sex is not something that only couples can have, as singles and people who enjoy spending time on their own can have it as well. When we say solo sex, we mean the sex you have with yourself. Like sex coach Gigi Engle from Womanizer says: “Your solo sessions are just as, if not more, important as sex with a partner.”

What is part of solo sex?

“Just like having sex with a partner is more than just penetration, masturbation is more than just stimulating your genitals. Everything that connects you to your romantic, sensual, erotic, or sexual self counts,” says sex coach Sarah Sloane. She organises, among other things, sex toy workshops at Pleasure Chest. You know, that shop where Charlotte in Sex and the City buys her rabbit vibrator.

Masturbating isn’t just enjoyable, it’s also good for you. “Solo sex is a perfect way of connecting with your body in order to become more self-confident and to experience sexual pleasure,” says Engle. An orgasm can also serve as a painkiller, reduce stress, stimulate sleep, and improve your mood. Especially people who menstruate benefit from having an orgasm, because it can reduce headache, back pain, and cramps.

How can I challenge my solo sex life?

From creating a romantic ambience to using sex toys: there are many ways to boost your solo sex life.

Transform your bedroom into a romantic place

Your bedroom is not just a place for sleep, but also for exciting adventures. With someone else and with yourself. If you want to transform your bedroom into a romantic place, there are several things you can do.

  • Choose luxury bedding. What counts as good bedding changes from person to person. Some swear by soft cotton satin, others love smooth satin fabric. Washed cotton and linnen are also popular choices.
  • Something simple like a night light with warm yellow light gives your room a completely different ambience than your large ceiling light.
  • You don’t have to spend a lot of money to create a nice atmosphere. Put on some music so you can’t hear your neighbours arguing or children playing outside for example. A playlist of sexy music helps you get in the mood.
  • A candle also usually creates the right ambience. You can choose a scented candle for example or you could light many small candles all over the room.
  • Lastly, we want to mention the magical power of lingerie. Many people say they feel more confident when they wear beautiful lingerie. Which means that wearing lingerie is really a choice you make for yourself and not for your partner.

Also read: Your bedroom, your sanctuary

Try different ways of touching

Using your other hand or trying a different way of touching can add a whole new dimension to your solo sex life. Where normally you would use your right hand and would draw circles around your clitoris, you could now try to stimulate yourself with your left hand. Or use different movements, like stroking instead of drawing circles, tapping your clitoris, or reversing your circle.

Use a (different) toy

Do you have one favourite sex toy? Or do you not own any toys yet? Try something new if toys appeals to you. You could use a vibrator for example. The vibrations and pulsations offer a whole new experience. Toys like a dildo, butt plug, or nipple clamps can make your solo sex life more exciting as well. Do you normally use a G-spot dildo? Expand your options and choose a clitoris vibrator.

Don’t forget your anus

Have you ever explored your anus? Or had anal sex with a partner? New ideas often come from someone else when that person wants to try something new. If you’re ready for some variation, take matters into your own hand and explore body parts that you might not have given that much attention before. Like your anus. “The anus contains half of all nerve ending in the pelvic floor. Filling it up can provide a very pleasant, full feeling,” says Sloane. Slowly build up your anal adventure, for example by massaging and stroking your anus externally first. Using plenty of lubricant makes it easier to insert, if you’re ready for it, (a part of) your finger or a sex toy.

Also read: Tips for anal foreplay 

Masturbate in a different location

Variety is the spice of life. You don’t necessarily have to change your masturbation technique to add some variety to the experience. Try masturbating in a different location than you normally would, like the bathroom or kitchen. Or how about masturbating while taking a nice bath or shower?

Caress yourself

Caressing is an important part of foreplay. You can easily caress yourself with your hand or with a tickler. This a toy with feathers that you can use to tickle and stroke yourself. Try to be fully aware of every touch while you caress your thigh, belly, nipples, and bum. Tease yourself by getting close to your genitals, but not touching them.

Listen to erotic audio or watch porna

Do you enjoy watching porna (female-friendly porn) or listening to erotic stories? The internet is your friend. Porna mainly offers visual stimuli, because you’re watching other people having sex. Erotic audio is about sound. This can vary from narrated fantasy stories to the sound of people masturbating and couples having sex. Dipsea is an app that offers hundreds of versatile erotic stories for every sexual preference, and includes trans and non-binary stories.

Also read: Porno and porna: these are the best websites and apps

Orgasm control

Edging or orgasm control is a sexual act where you stop masturbating as soon as you almost reach your climax. This way you won’t go over the edge, so you can continue pleasuring yourself for a long time. “This way you learn exactly what you have to do to build up an orgasm,” says Sloane. “You’re also rewarded with a richer and deeper orgasm when you finally give in to your climax.” Win-win!

Of course there are many more ways to enrich your sex life. It’s the art of getting off the beaten path. Do you fondly look back on the adventures you used to have in your car? Masturbating in an empty car park is still possible! Do you enjoy people watching you while you’re pleasuring yourself? You could watch yourself in the mirror while masturbating or you could try webcam sex. If you have a partner, you might enjoy recording sexy messages for him or her.

Look at your solo sex life as something exciting and erotic that you can experiment with. If a certain sexual act or idea is not your cup of tea, then you don’t have to do it again. If it is enjoyable however, you have discovered a new of pleasuring yourself.

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