Premature ejaculation: how to last longer in bed
Premature ejaculation can have a negative effect on your sex life. Although many men prefer not to talk about it, we recommend speaking out anyway. Your doctor or a sexologist can help you prevent premature ejaculation or help you learn to live with it. You can also try to work on it yourself first. The tips below will help you do that.
When is ejaculation ‘premature’?
In medical terms, premature ejaculation means that a man ejaculates within one minute of penetration. The average man ejaculates after about five to six minutes. It is estimated that between three to thirty percent of men suffer from premature ejaculation. These percentages are only estimates, because doctors suspect that many men don’t come forward with it out of shame. The insecurity and the fact that they have no control over their ejaculation is the main problem, according to men who ejaculate prematurely.
Primary premature ejaculation
There are men with lifelong premature ejaculation. This is classified as primary premature ejaculation. Medication can help with this. GPs can prescribe medication such as SSRIs. These are antidepressants, such as paroxetine and sertraline, which have the side effect of delayed ejaculation. You should take medication for a couple of months, after which you can slowly start taking less and less after consultation. Men younger than 25 are often not prescribed any medication.
Secondary premature ejaculation
Young men with not much sexual experience often climax too soon. They can learn to delay their orgasm by doing exercises. If this doesn’t work, they may be suffering from primary premature ejaculation.
Men who experience ejaculation problems later in life might also benefit from counselling from a sexologist or from doing exercises. There are usually multiple causes for premature ejaculation.
Partner’s reaction
Men often feel sorry for their partners when they climax too quickly. It’s important to talk about this, because maybe your partner doesn’t mind at all that the penetration doesn’t last very long. Research shows that many (female) partners don’t mind the premature ejaculation as much as the fact that their partner starts avoiding being intimate. Keep in mind that most women don’t reach a climax during penetration: for them, clitoral stimulation is what leads to an orgasm.
Aslo read: Everything you really need to know about your clitoris
Causes of premature ejaculation
There are many things that can cause premature ejaculation, such as medication, diabetes, obesity, prostate infections, and thyroid gland disorders, but also emotional problems and stress. Erectile dysfunction and the insecurity and pressure to perform that come from that can also cause premature ejaculation. You end up in a vicious circle of fear of failure and pressure to perform, leading to erectile problems or premature ejaculation.
Delaying your orgasm
If you want to last longer in bed, you can try delaying your orgasm in various ways. Think of exercises, medication, or products that help delay ejaculation.
Exercises to delay your orgasm: masturbation
While masturbating, you can practise delaying your orgasm. Try to pinpoint the ‘point of no return’, the point where you can’t hold it back any longer, as best you can. Stop masturbating as soon as you almost reach this point. When you’re ‘cooled down’ a bit, start it up again. Try to stop again before you reach your climax. If you manage to last for a couple of minutes with this routine, you can try it while having sex with your partner.
Practise with a masturbator
Do you prefer practising alone? Perhaps a masturbator can help you with this. This is a sex toy with a sleeve that looks and feels like a vagina, anus, or mouth. The soft material and texture on the inside of the masturbator creates a life-like feeling, as if you’re having sex with a partner. For this exercise, it’s important to stop before you reach your climax. If you manage to delay your orgasm, you’re ready for the next step: practise with your lover.
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Delay sprays and creams
You can also try to delay ejaculation with delay sprays or delay creams. These gels and creams contain a very small amount of numbing product, like lidocaine or prilocaine, which makes your penis slightly less sensitive. The delay sprays, gels, and creams in our shop are safe for use in combination with condoms. Spray or apply the gel or cream on your penis (mainly the glans) and let it absorb into your skin. After a couple of minutes, you’ll notice that your penis feels less sensitive.
Orgasm-delay condoms
If your penis is very sensitive and you always climax too soon, orgasm-delay condoms can be the solution for you. These condoms are provided with lubricant that slightly numb the penis. This makes the penis a little less sensitive, so you can last longer in bed.
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