Oral sex: this is how you make it fun for both of you

Oral sex is a sexual experience that can give you pleasure like nothing else. The sensation provided by a blowjob, cunnilingus, or rimming is an another level than penetrative sex for example. The better you are at pleasuring your partner orally, the more passionate you feel about it yourself. But how can you do it well and how can you make sure that you also enjoy it yourself? What are the do’s and don’ts? How do you make sure your teeth don’t get in the way? We will answer all these questions about oral sex and more in this blog post.

What is oral sex exactly?

During oral sex, the genitalia are stimulated with the mouth and tongue. For example you can give your male partner a blowjob or you can lick your female partner’s labia and clitoris. Rimming, which means licking the anus, is also considered oral sex. Oral sex is arguably the most intimate form of sex, since your partner is literally between your legs with his or her face. Especially men seem to enjoy oral sex a lot. Apart from the fact that it feels great, it also gives them a feeling of total acceptance and love, according to relationship coach Jordan Gray.

Why oral sex feels so good

There are eight thousand nerve endings in the visible part of the clitoris alone. The glans of a penis has four thousand. All these nerve endings provide sexual pleasure when they are stimulated. The sensitive clitoris can be stimulated in various ways: for example by licking, sucking, blowing, and kissing. Alternating between these techniques can create intense arousal. And you will feel aroused too. Women often can’t have an orgasm with penetration alone and with oral sex, you can help her reach a climax. If you’re able to completely give in to your partner while he or she is pleasuring you orally, you will experience overwhelming pleasure. Let go of all your insecurities, feel the sensations, and enjoy your partner’s passion.

Oral sex: take the initiative

Oral sex is an important part of having sex. If you do it right, this will greatly contribute to your partner’s ability to have an orgasm. Arouse your partner by telling them how you will pleasure them with your mouth and tongue. You can also show them with a popsicle or banana. Take the initiative, create an intimate connection, and share your ideas about what you like do to with your parter. Now it’s time to get to work. Be eager, alternate between techniques, and don’t be afraid to make sounds. This way your partner knows that you’re going for it completely and that you enjoy it, so that they can completely let go of their fears as well. You don’t have to deep throat your partner right away (more about that later): simply licking and kissing is also very enjoyable.

Start slow and finish strong

Arousal is a process. So start slow and rhythmically. Build up the pressure and the stimulation over time. No matter if you’re a man or a woman orally stimulating your partner: a sufficient amount of saliva is important. What feels uncomfortable in the beginning, might feel pleasant towards the end. Stimulate other sensitive spots at the same time: massage the G-spot with your fingers while stimulating her clitoris with the tip of your tongue for example. If you have a male partner, it is great to give him a blowjob, while simultaneously massaging his anus and prostate (via the anus). Or stick to the perineum: the piece of skin between the anus and balls. Of course you can also massage his balls.

Tired during oral sex? Use your hands

When it comes to oral sex, your mouth and tongue are essential. However, the muscles in your mouth and tongue can get tired after a while when you’re pleasuring your partner. Especially when you’re giving your partner a blowjob. Take a break for a moment and use your hands. Slowly and carefully glide your fingers over the penis or vagina. If you have a male partner, then focus on stroking the shaft of the penis, but don’t forget the glans. Do you have a female partner? Start by stroking her thighs and slowly and gently move all the way to the outer labia.

Tell your partner how beautiful their genitalia are

Look at your partner’s penis or vagina before you start oral sex. Pay attention to the contours, size, colour, firmness, and hair. Take everything in and embrace whatever comes up in your mind. Share how you feel. Do you feel like laughing or giggling? Does looking at it make your more aroused? Tell your partner how beautiful he or she is and share your feelings about it. It makes oral sex even better and it brings you closer together. It also gives your partner more self-confidence, so he or she feels comfortable enough to open up more.

Oral sex: experimenting and discussing

Nobody’s the same, so what you and your partner like is probably different than what other people like. Vary your technique and sex position to find out what arouses your partner. Talk about your experiences after having sex, give each other feedback, and together make sure the experience of oral sex becomes more enjoyable every time. By taking the time to experiment with what works and what doesn’t, the focus shifts from just reaching a climax towards enjoying the entire experience. Of course you can also talk about what you don’t like. Does you partner hold the back of your head too tightly if you give him a blowjob? Or does he move with you too much, therefore essentially penetrating your mouth? Tell him if you don’t like it. Explain that you don’t like the submissive feeling oral sex gives you and that you want to control how deep the penis moves in and out of your mouth. If you don’t want to talk about it with your partner, then hold the shaft of his penis with your hand. That way if can’t slide too deeply into your mouth.

Problem: he or she doesn’t smell pleasant

An example: you want to give your boyfriend a blowjob, but he just went to the toilet. Or your lover wants to lick your genitalia, but it has been a hot day and you feel sweaty and not very fresh. Suggest having a shower together! In the shower, you can wash each other first and then have oral sex. Problem solved! Shaven, cut, or trimmed pubic hair contributes to a more pleasant experience as well.

‘My teeth are in the way during oral sex’

Biting your partner’s penis is one of the fears people can have when it comes to oral sex. Don’t worry, if it happens, you will hear it. Are you worried about it? Ask your partner if your fear is founded. If it is, you can do something about it: curl your lips around your teeth while you pleasure him. Do you have big teeth and does it cause problems for both of you? Then it is also possible to use a silicone dental protector.

What is deep-throating?

The term deep throat became well known thanks to the 1972 film with Linda Lovelace titled Deep Throat. The premise of this porn movie is that the clitoris of the main character is located in her mouth. Her doctor suggests that she should give him a blowjob, so he can stimulate the clitoris in her throat. Putting your partner’s penis into your mouth as far as possible is called deep-throating. If you like to experience this, you will have to find a sex partner who can keep their gag reflexes under control. Most people start to gag as soon as something touches the back of their throat.

Use toys during oral sex

Oral sex can be one of the most pleasant aspects of a relationship. Practice makes perfect and the better you are at it, the more enjoyable it becomes. In order to take oral sex to the next level, you can use sex toys and other tools. This will make pleasuring your partner orally even more pleasant and receiving oral stimulation will feel even better. Here are a couple of suggestions for sex toys you can use:

• For her: air pressure vibrator or clitoris vibrator. These toys enhance the feeling your mouth provides and offer an opportunity to rest when you notice your mouth starts to get tired.
• For him: penis pump or blowjob simulator with great suction power and various textures on the inside for maximum stimulation.
• Before starting oral sex, you can look for sex toys together that offer pleasure to both of you, like a vibrator or vibrating cock ring.
• Don’t forget: lubricant. Like everything else, oral sex is more pleasant and easier with lubricant. Be sure to use flavoured lubricant that is suitable for oral use.
• And for safety purposes: condoms for oral sex. Flavoured condoms are very popular.

An orgasm in fifteen minutes with oral sex

Oral sex makes men and women climax faster than for example penetrative sex. It takes men usually twelve minutes to have an orgasm with oral sex. Women need a little more time: fifteen to twenty minutes. How successful oral sex is depends on several things: how sensitive your genitalia are, how much you can give in to the moment, and your partner’s skills. If you try your very best to pleasure your partner with oral sex, if feels like a compliment when he or she reaches a climax. It’s not surprising that with men, this comes with an ejaculation. Decide beforehand if you want to swallow his sperm or not. Swallowing sperm isn’t harmful, but not everyone likes it. The choice is yours alone. Let your lover know what you decide: then he knows when to give you a heads up.