Hurrah for sex without penetration: surprisingly satisfying!
Maybe you’ve already figured it out. Maybe you’re still blissfully unaware. But, in terms of sex, penetration isn’t the holy grail of satisfying sex. We still believe that every sex session should end with a penis in a vagina, but the spectrum of sex offers so much more. So, how do you go about having a steamy adventure without penetration?
Sex without penetration? You used to do it too!
Let’s take a little trip down memory lane. Remember when you were a nervous teenager taking your first steps into the world of sex? For some reason, a little bit of touching and fiddling was already quite exciting. You could lose yourself for hours while kissing, and you took your time discovering each other’s bodies with your mouth and fingers, and penetration? That could wait for a while.
But well, then comes your first time. And from that moment on, all other sexual deeds are pushed to the background and become nothing more than tools that eventually lead to penetration. It’s not so strange when you think about how we label kissing, touching, and licking as ‘foreplay’, like they are a warmup before the ‘real thing’ starts. Nothing is further from the truth. Sex can also be pleasant, great, and satisfying with no penetration at all.
You could lose yourself for hours while kissing, and you took your time discovering each other’s bodies with your mouths.
Only 18 per cent achieve an orgasm
But, let’s be honest. There are an awful lot of women who don’t reach orgasm through penetration, and there are also many women who don’t fit the heteronormative picture. So, penetration is not a given in these situations and shouldn’t have to be. And, the statistics confirm this. According to an American study, only 18 per cent of women achieve an orgasm through vaginal penetration. About 36 per cent require clitoral stimulation and a further 36 per cent say that this kind of stimulation substantially improves their sex life and chance of having an orgasm.
So, penetration is not the thing around which other types of sex revolve. Fingering and oral sex are not just meant to make the vagina wet, open, and willing to be penetrated by a penis. There are so many other ways of reaching a climax without a penis being involved.
Dump the routine
A case can certainly be made for starting on a happy quest for sex without penetration. It can be fun to experiment with enjoying sex that (for once) isn’t just about thrusting as deep as you can. A quest like that not only breaks the monotony of traditional sex but also helps you get to know your body and your partner’s body even better.
Yep, it’s tempting to stick to the familiar routines and keep on having sex like you’ve always done. But, in a healthy sexual relationship, it’s good to be open to new things instead of always relying on the same old, same old. When you take penetration off the menu, you allow yourself to discover surprising new types of sexual pleasure.
When you take penetration off the menu, you allow yourself to discover surprising new types of sexual pleasure.
After all, sex is much more than just a thrusting penis. It can also be intensely sensual and more imaginative than your run-of-the-mill sex. You can have an incredibly hot, intimate, and satisfying sex session without having to put anything in anybody. You really can, as long as you focus on each other’s pleasure and pay attention to long-forgotten places.
Discover each other’s erogenous zones
Do you want to enjoy sex without penetration? Then you need to get to know each other’s bodies. Which places are surprisingly sensitive? Apart from the usual suspects, the penis, the vagina, and the anus? Many couples immediately go for the obvious erogenous zones, even though other places are well worth stimulating.
Nipple play: turn-off or guaranteed orgasm?
Your body is filled with erogenous zones, from your neck, lips, and earlobes to your thighs, feet, or stomach. Everyone has those unique spots that are extra sensitive or get them extra aroused when touched. A slow journey of discovery to find each other’s hot spots can be incredibly sexy and arousing.
Take your breasts and nipples, for example. Where one woman might reach orgasm through nipple stimulation, another might find the idea of a nipple play session a real turn-off. It’s something you need to discover. Blow on, caress, and lick them a little to see what kind of sensations it evokes. If you pay close attention to each other’s reactions, you are guaranteed to take your sex life to the next level.
Playing with the vulva and the ‘booty hole’
Don’t forget the vulva is much more than just your clitoris. The outer and inner labia, the vaginal opening, and your groin are all incredibly sensitive. When your partner uses their fingers and tongue to stroke and lick you, these are the places they definitely shouldn’t skip.
The same goes for the anus since there are multiple ways to play with this zone, like kissing and massaging the lower back, thighs, and buttocks before the ‘booty hole’ even comes into play. Slowly building the tension is always a good idea if you want to increase your erotic pleasure. Penetration isn’t even necessary.
Treat them to a massage
The best way to discover each other’s bodies is a massage. By using your hands, you can pleasure your partner’s body from head to toe. You can massage their entire body or just focus on their intimate and sensitive places. You can also experiment with temperature play by melting special massage candles and letting the oil drip on each other’s bodies. Delightfully warm and soft on the skin.
Skin-to-skin contact makes you feel relaxed and drowsy. It also helps release oxytocin, the same blissful substance that is released during orgasm. After that, nothing feels better than taking the massage session to the next level. For instance, when your partner thrusts or slides his penis across and around your vagina without penetrating.
Tip! Don’t forget to use massage oil or lube to make the touch extra smooth, slippery, and titillating.
Three sex techniques that don’t require penetration
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Oral sex
When we take penetration off the table, for now, there is plenty of space to explore oral sex. And that is a good thing! Because few things feel better than being licked between your legs. Orally pleasuring each other is so much more than just an appetizer before penetration. For many women, it’s the only way to reach a dizzying climax.
It goes without saying that oral sex is all about reading each other’s body language as well. Does the receiving party start panting louder and wriggle more when you do that certain something with your tongue? Then don’t change a thing and keep doing what you were doing with the same enthusiasm. Encourage your partner to alternate between soft licks and short, intense tongue movement and let them know if harder or softer pressure is what inspires a rush of pleasure.
Don’t forget to use your hands and fingers. Oral skills are one thing, but it’s only when combined with the caressing of breasts, buttocks, or labia that the gates of paradise seem truly attainable.
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Kunyaza
Want to learn how to squirt the African way? You can, with the ancient Kunyaza technique. The principle of the technique is simple. The man takes hold of his penis, or the woman of a vibrating dildo, and taps it against the clitoris and vulva in a rhythmic fashion. Slowly, he moves closer to the inside of your labia and the vaginal opening. The rhythmic tapping increases in tempo and alternates between circular and zigzagging movements.
Is he doing a good job? Then you’ll end up squirting out a waterfall of milky sex fluid from your vagina. Quite the experience and, according to the Rwandans, you can even experience several orgasms simultaneously.
Want to know more about the titillating art of Kunyaza? Check out our special article about the squirting technique!
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• Masturbate together
Okay, you might need to overcome some inhibitions first, but as soon as you have gotten over your initial embarrassment, nothing will be in the way of your blissful, simultaneous masturbation fest. It can be pretty titillating to see each other get aroused. You can also learn a lot from it because you can now see what the other person really likes and how they reach a climax using their own hands.
Masturbating together also does wonders for your sexual confidence. You’re performing a naughty show, taking control over your own orgasm, and showing your partner how it’s done. After all, nothing is better than an expert touch. You can surprise your partner by lying on the sofa waiting while already fingering yourself, or you can make a special session together by using scented candles, soft pillows, and sensual music.
Have you reached the point of not being able to hold it in any longer and are about to jump each other? The no touching rule only makes the experience more intense and exciting.
Sex toys without penetration
Do sex toys mainly make you think about life-sized dildos that are meant to go inside your body? Think again.
From massage candles to air pressure vibrators or nipple and clitoris suckers, there are tons of sex toys that can be used to satisfy your intimate parts without penetration, both when you’re by yourself and when you’re with your partner. And what about vibrating panties with a remote control? That way, your sex partner can drive you wild from a distance!
We have listed a few great examples for you:
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Vibrating Thongpantyrebel£50.99£33.99 -
Shunga - Massage Candle Rose Petals/Aphrodisia - 30 mlShunga£7.99
Remember that many vibrating sex toys can also be used for a massage: even if they were originally intended for penetration. On the other hand, toys such as clitoris and nipple suckers focus entirely on external pleasure. And boy, do they work. They open many women up to an entirely new sensation. Due to the air pressure waves, it feels like you’re being intensely pleasured by a tongue between your legs. Now think of what a toy like that combined with a real tongue could do to your other erogenous zones.
Penetration break? Talk about it together!
One final tip, before jumping in the sack together again. If you’re used to always having penetration during sex, try not doing it for a week or two. You’ll notice that a penetration break like that makes you more playful, imaginative, and daring in bed. You begin to experience each other’s bodies in an entirely different way which can be very exciting and arousing.
The most important sex organ
Remember: communicate, communicate, communicate. Many people find it embarrassing to talk about sex. They feel vulnerable and ashamed. But there is no need for that, especially when you realize your brain is the most important sex organ in your body. Your imagination knows no bounds, especially when sex is involved.
You can think you know everything there is to know about each other, but chances are you’ll end up stuck in a familiar sex routine after a while. There is nothing wrong with that, but it leaves little room for new sensations and discoveries. Talk with each other about your desires and fantasies. If needed, pull the sheets over your heads and softly whisper what you would like into each other’s ears.
That way, you’re not only building up an insane amount of sexual tension but also allowing yourselves the opportunity to see each other in a whole new light. It’s time to rediscover each other!
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