How to: climaxing at the same time

Just like fit bodies and sultry looks, there’s one other element that can be seen in many porn films: a couple coming at the same time. In practice? Not so much. How can you climax at the same time? Try the following tips!

Climaxing at the same time: is it possible?

It’s definitely possible to have an orgasm at the same time, and it’s not even that difficult: you just need to make an effort. For example, you may want to hold back your climax when you can feel it coming and give the other person some more time. Research shows that about 37% of the couples surveyed come at the same time at least half of the times they have sex. Usually, one of them is close to climax before and waits for the other one to do the same.

The benefit of simultaneous orgasms

Fact: women often need more time to reach a climax than men. On average, they need 15 minutes longer to reach the 4 phases of orgasm (the arousal phase, the plateau phase, the orgasm, and the relaxation phase). That’s not bad at all. What’s annoying is that you may miss out on an orgasm because the other person has already finished. Many people are ‘done’ with sex when they’ve had their climax. If you still have to continue stimulating the other person, then it’s often not hard to notice that the excitement is gone. A simultaneous orgasm can solve this problem. For many, it’s also something romantic: you experience the same feelings at exactly the same time.

A simultaneous orgasm: talk about it

We’ve all seen it before: a man who has an orgasm, rolls off you, and falls asleep with a content smile. You’re still lying next to him with all the arousal pumping through your body, wondering if you were actually done, and how you can prevent this from happening in the future. The answer: communicate. It’s perfectly normal that you also want to climax. If you meet someone who seems to think his orgasm is more important than yours, it’s not necessarily a reason to kick them out. What you should do is let them know that you want to reach your high point too. You can do this during sex (“hold on a little longer, baby, I’m almost there”) or at any other time. Have you always faked your orgasm and is that why your partner thinks you’re coming too? Be honest about it.

Tips for climaxing together

Stimulate your clitoris

As we’ve mentioned before, many women find it difficult to come during penetration. That’s why it’s important to make sure that your clitoris is stimulated. You can do this yourself, your partner can do it, either with or without a toy – as long as it happens.

Enjoy the moment

If women concentrate too much on their orgasm, it will actually be more difficult to come. Forget about the grocery shopping you still have to do and enjoy the touch. And try to let the pressure to achieve a simultaneous orgasm glide off your shoulders.

Use a lubricant

Vaginal dryness can make it harder to come. Even if you’re wet, the area around your clitoris can become dry during sex. Use enough lubricant to prevent a painful clitoris.

Take it easy, babe

Generally, men orgasm much easier than women. Do you want to delay his orgasm? A vibrating cock ring can help. This has two advantages: he’ll climax less quickly, and you’ll be stimulated by the vibrations. If your partner comes faster than you’d like them to, you can also use a delay spray or orgasm-delaying condoms.

Hold back your orgasm

Are you the one who comes quicker than your partner? The same applies to you: try to hold it back for a while. Try thinking of the dull things you need to do like the cauliflower you’ve got to cook or the obligatory family weekend you have to attend. Of course, it also helps to stop stimulating the clitoris for a while. At the same time, you can help your partner by whispering dirty words in their ears or by moaning louder. This’ll work, we promise!

Make eye contact

75% of the women interviewed by Cosmo said they only come when they have a good relationship with someone. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a partner, but someone who respects you and is kind to you. And someone with whom you feel comfortable enough to make eye contact. This simple gesture creates a lot of intimacy and can help you reach orgasm more easily.

Do you and your (sex) partner try to come simultaneously?