Femdom: a dominant female partner

Femdom stands for Female Domination. This is a relationship where the woman is the dominant partner. It’s part of a bedroom game or even a lifestyle of power and submission. You can take this as far as you like. Femdom is usually limited to the bedroom with BDSM activities. But did you know you can implement femdom in every aspect of your relationship? There are women who adopt femdom as a lifestyle because they believe women are superior to men.

What is femdom?

Femdom is often associated with black latex, fishnet pantyhoses, and high heels. This is because it was created in 1986, when femdom was used in pornography. It originates from BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism), where a dominant female takes control over a submissive partner. So a femdom is a female Dominant, a Mistress. In most cases, this only plays a part in the bedroom and is temporary. The relationship outside the bedroom is based on equality. But it doesn’t have to be that way: there are plenty of relationships where the female partner is the dominant partner.  The most important thing for a female Dom is the power she has: she enjoys sadism and the pain and humiliation she causes her partner. The submissive (usually a man) undergoes the pain and humiliation and gets just as much pleasure out of it. You don’t have to wear latex or other fetish clothes. It doesn’t really matter what you wear during femdom play.

Femdom as part of your relationship

There is no right or wrong way to approach femdom and it’s different for every couple and for every woman. Female dominance is the foundation of femdom, but what you do with it is up to you. When you choose to integrate femdom into your relationship, there are various ways you can go about it. For example, experience femdom on specific days during the week or specific moments during the day. Outside of those days or moments, you can just go on with your relationship as usual, where both partners are equal.

Total femdom relationship: the female partner decides

In extreme cases, femdom takes over your entire relationship. In these kinds of relationships, the female Dom decides absolutely everything: from spending money to deciding bedtimes. Do you want femdom to take over your entire relationship? Then you both have to be really sure of yourself if you want to keep it up consciously and consequently. Making the female partner dominant undoubtedly has consequences for your relationship. In theory, this sound very hot: the reigning mistress. But also think about how you can still emotionally support each other. Only some people seem to be able to do this successfully. There are many stories online posted by submissive men. Try to visualize if you can handle this lifestyle beforehand and always create clear rules.

Femdom as a lifestyle

Women who adopted femdom as a lifestyle often say that they have felt the need for power since their childhood. So it’s not just a game, but can also become part of your identity. Which means that you’re also a Dominant outside the bedroom. You don’t even have to be in a relationship to do it. You can demand of your partner to be your submissive or slave, in a mild or extreme form, whether you’re in a relationship with that person or not. As a Dom, you feel powerful and authoritarian, and you enjoy the moments where you can control someone else. A Dom often dresses in a sexy way, but she doesn’t have to. It’s all about the mindset and every woman can shape her femdom the way she wants.

Hiring a Mistress

There are also other kinds of femdom relationships, where a Mistress is hired by the submissive. She’s the boss and decides what the submissive has to do, but is paid by the submissive. Finding a Mistress online is the easiest way to do it, for example on websites like BDSMdate.

How do you get started with femdom?

Start small: explore femdom within your relationship. Experience what it’s like to play a power game and slowly add more to it. Is your partner open to the idea of implementing femdom in your relationship? Start with just a short time during the day where your partner has to do everything you say. Talk about your fantasies and create boundaries together, so it is fun for both of you. A couple of tips to get started:

• Foot fetish: is there anything more submissive than a worshipping partner who kisses or licks your shoes? Especially when you wear a pair of sexy boots and his or her hand or mouth slides over your legs.
• Cock & ball bondage. It sounds extreme, but that doesn’t have to be the case. When you are just getting started, try a cock ring that generates a small amount of pain, but also feels comfortable at the same time. This way you can both slowly get used to the femdom lifestyle.
• Costumes: some men like to roleplay. Roleplay during femdom means that the female partner decides what the submissive partner has to wear. For example, underwear, garters, clothing owned by other women, or fishnet pantyhoses. Or nothing of course.
• Bondage is something we recommend to try at least once in your life. Bondage is indispensable in a femdom lifestyle. Tying up someone’s wrists or ankles makes you feel powerful. In extreme cases, the submissive can be locked up in a cage.
• The final element to complete every femdom is a little teasing. Whether your partner is tied up or you ordered them not to touch you, teasing should play a part in it. This will drive the submissive partner to the edge. Use a tickler or a whip and step into that femdom role.