Anal sex: the do’s and don’ts

Curious about anal sex or looking to make anal sex even more exciting? Then you’ve come to the right place! From sex toys to prepare yourself for anal penetration, to the hottest anal sex positions: these are the do’s and don’ts of anal.

Do relax

The most important thing to remember when having anal sex is to relax. Both physically and mentally. Does your partner want to try anal but you’ve never considered it before? Then you might be slightly taken aback at first, but try to react in a respectful manner. Being disrespectful is an absolute don’t.

It’s also important to stay relaxed if you’re actually going to try anal sex. It’ll make the sex a lot more pleasant. So, once you’ve thoroughly washed up and have mentally prepared yourself, the seduction games can begin.

Do take it slow

Is this your first time experimenting with anal? Then make sure to take it slow! It’s no secret that women need more time to get excited than men. Add to that that, unlike the vagina, the anus lacks lubrication. And it doesn’t stretch as easily either. So trying anal sex just a few minutes after hopping into bed together is a definite no-go. First, make sure you’re both in the mood. And even once inside, it’s important to ask the receiver how it feels.

Don’t start big

Even if you’re excited, it’s still not a good idea to stick a penis or dildo in straight away if you’ve never tried anal before. Start off small, by massaging the anus with a finger, for example. If it feels good, venture a little further inside using your fingertip. Keep it slow, because the skin of the anus is thin and fragile.

Do use sex toys

Butt plugs in various sizes can help stretch the anus. There are different butt plug starter kits, with plugs that are increasingly bigger. These are great for beginners.

If you’re a woman and you want to pleasure your partner with anal sex (we call this pegging), you can use a dildo. There are special dildos that are suitable for anal use. Some have a suction cup, meaning you can attach them to smooth surfaces such as shower tiles. Or you can get a strap-on, which you can attach using a harness (strap-on), allowing you to use the dildo as a penis.

Tip: Check our Strap-on Dildos

Don’t do it without protection

Many STDs can also be transmitted through anal sex. So make sure to always wear protection in the form of a condom, or ask your partner to do so. Even when using a sex toy, such as a dildo, it’s important to put a condom on it when switching between users. Of course, you can always drop the condoms if you’re in a monogamous relationship and have both tested negative for STDs.

Also read: No one minds testing for the coronavirus, but testing for STDs? That’s a different thing.

Do get the right lubricant

As mentioned previously, the anus lacks lubrication. So it’s important never, and we mean never, to try anal sex without lubrication. Don’t do it: no matter how often you’ve seen it in porn. Don’t. Do. It. Use a special anal lubricant for anal sex: this is available as both a silicone and water-based lubricant. Which option is most suitable will depend on whether you’ll be using any sex toys. Silicone toys don’t mix well with silicone lubricant, for example. But generally speaking, silicone lubricants last longer and can also be used in the shower. Water-based lubricants are thinner and disappear faster, but the stains are easier to wash off your bedding.

Don’t embarrass each other in case of accidents

Don’t forget your bedding can get a little dirty during anal sex. You don’t want to embarrass each other at such a vulnerable moment. If you notice some stool when retrieving the penis or dildo, respond to it without shame and try not to make your partner feel ashamed either. It may be a good idea to keep a towel on your bed.

Do try another position

Spice up your sex life by trying a different sex position. Doggy style isn’t the only good position for backdoor sex. Check out some of the best anal sex positions in this article.

Do keep communicating

There it is again: communication. Keep communicating with each other during anal sex. That way you both know you’re enjoying it and that everything’s fine. Don’t do anything you or your partner isn’t comfortable with. You don’t want to betray each other’s trust. Communication is also important before trying anal sex: your partner may like surprises, but pushing your penis into their anus without warning isn’t such a fun surprise. Always ask for your partner’s consent or talk about your desires beforehand so you don’t put your partner on the spot.