Anal foreplay: the best tips for beginners

Anal sex is something many people want to try at least once. But there is much prejudice and a huge fear of pain. After all, the anus is not as flexible as the vagina. It’s important to understand that anal sex doesn’t have to be painful or dirty. The trick is to slowly stretch the anus and don’t rush anything. That is exactly what anal foreplay is all about.

Anal foreplay starts with relaxing

One of the most important aspects of a successful anal experience is a relaxed body. We’re mostly talking about your sphincter. It automatically tenses when something touches it, so if you want to have comfortable anal sex, you need to relax your sphincter. You’ll get better and better at this with extensive foreplay and a lot of practice.

Indispensable during anal foreplay

Before you’re ready for the real deal, anal foreplay is a fun way to explore anal stimulation. But how do you go about it and what toys do you need for this?

Anal lubricant

The anus doesn’t stretch as easily as the vagina and also can’t get wet on its own. That’s why lubricant is indispensable if you’re going on an anal adventure. You can use relaxing lubricant, which has a slightly numbing effect, or regular anal lubricant. With the use of anal lubricant, toys like butt plugs glide inside more easily. Silicone lubricant stays smooth for a long period of time, which means that you don’t have to re-apply it as often as other lubricants. It is important to keep in mind however that you cannot use silicone lubricant in combination with silicone toys.

Also read: Is experimenting always a good idea?

Communication is key

Men often jump into it more quickly and enthusiastically than women, who usually need to take some more time to warm up. And especially with anal foreplay, it’s important to take it slow. Are you experimenting together with your partner? Make sure to let them know if things are going too fast or if it feels uncomfortable, but also tell them when they can go a step further.

Use your fingers

Want to explore your anus? Use your fingers! This way you really get to know your body. It’s also the way to teach your anus to relax. By massaging the sphincter and going a step further every time, you discover what you like. You can also ask your partner if they want to orally pleasure your anus.

Sex toys for anal foreplay: butt plugs

A butt plug is the perfect toy for anal foreplay. It’s a sex toy with a tapered tip, a narrow neck and a wide base that stays on the outside of your anus. There are even butt plugs you can warm up to body temperature for an even more pleasurable and comfortable experience. Vibrating butt plugs can help you relax your anus as well. If you want to go a step further, go for a butt plug set. It contains various butt plugs in different sizes, so you can start small and work your way up to larger plugs to stretch your anus. A butt plug is the perfect toy for a beginner of anal sex.

• 
  Multi Colour - Buttplug Set
  EasyToys Online Only
  £25.65 £15.39
• 
  Diamond Plug Medium - Black
  Easytoys Anal Collection
  £21.38 £12.82

Experimenting with anal dildos

There are other anal toys available that you can use to stimulate yourself as well, like anal dildos and anal beads. An important tip from us: start small. There is no reason to rush things. Start experimenting with a small dildo or at least a dildo with a small tip that you can easily insert anally. If you’re used to the feeling of anal penetration after a while, you can always try for a bigger toy then.

• 
  Swirl Thin Anal Snake - 18 Inch
  Hosed
  £52.17
• 
  Galaxia Lavender
  You2Toys
  £11.11

Insecurities surrounding anal sex

There are countless common insecurities people have when it comes to anal sex. Pain, filth and sexuality are the most common insecurities. However, this usually comes from ignorance and not from experience.

Only for homosexuals

It’s a common and very persistant misconception that anal sex is just for homosexual men. But that’s absolute nonsense: an American study shows that 44% of men 36% of women has had anal sex at least once in their life. Research conducted by Viva magazine in 2009 shows that many women enjoy anal sex: almost half of the participants indicated that they like having anal sex. Heterosexual men often enjoy anal stimulation with a toy or even a strap-on dildo, which is called pegging.

It hurts

Without proper preparation anal sex can feel uncomfortable. That’s why it’s very important to take it slow and keep communicating with your partner. Anal lubricant makes penetration easier and anal foreplay temporarily stretches your anus. With extensive foreplay and plenty of lubricant, you can prevent small tears in your anus.

It’s messy

If you simply go to the toilet before having anal sex, you don’t have to worry about things getting messy. If you’re still afraid your anal adventure is going to be messy, use an anal douche beforehand, like this one by Teazers. Fill it with water and empty it in your anus. This will rinse your anus. You can do this on the toilet or in the shower.