Discover your sexual identity through mono-cultivation

The hustle and bustle of daily life leaves little time for moments of self-reflection. Still, it’s important to regularly take some time to reflect on your sexual self; what does your body tell you, what are your desires? Continuously being aware of your own body creates more self-awareness. Over time, this will allow you to discover your authentic sexual desires. To achieve this, you will have to carefully break your sex routines and look deep within yourself. This article helps you explore how to discover your sexual identity through mono-cultivation.

Sexual awareness

By being more aware of your deep-rooted desires, you’re able to enjoy sexual activity more intensely. There’s also a good chance that it teaches you how to better recognise physical love and how to feel more confident to tell your partner what you do or don’t like. In order to find that authentic sexual identity, you will need to be hyper aware of your sexual activities for 2 to 3 months. Consciously experience every moment of your sexuality and reflect on what’s happening in your body and mind. When do you experience sexual tension, when do you freeze, and when do you enjoy self-pleasure the most? Constantly think about the nature of your thoughts. By being aware of your sexuality, you will get closer to answering why-questions like: why do I have sex and why do we always choose the same sex positions?

“In order to find your authentic sexual identity, you will need to be hyper aware of your sexual activities.”

After that, the moment has come to face your routines. Which habits do you like and which do you want to let go of to make room for new insights? Define what a good sex life looks like to you and write down your feelings and thoughts. This will help you later on in the proces of mono-cultivation.

Also read: Your bedroom, your sanctuary

Confrontation and mono-cultivation

The more you dive into you sexual self, the more emotions will come to the surface and you will be confronted with the truth. Sometimes it will unlock a lot of discontent about your current sex life. Perhaps you’re in a long-term relationship and your sex life isn’t that passionate anymore. Or maybe you’re subconsciously eager to experiment, but you’re afraid to take the initiative. The best part of sexual self-reflection is that you gain unique insights. These valuable insights eventually help you find a place for your sexual energy.

Did you know… sexual self-reflection eventually leads to more sexual energy?

Developing sexual awareness and working with the results is called mono-cultivation in Taoism. Exploring and expressing your subconscious sexual desires can stir up quite a lot that effects both you and your partner. It’s possible that you don’t just have to deal with confrontation yourself, but your partner as well. Depending on the nature of your insights, it’s a good idea to think about the way you express your authentic sexual desires to your partner.

Breaking down your walls

In the context of ‘love hurts’, we tend to build walls around us when we’ve had a bad experience. It protects us from pain, but it also decreases our ability to completely let yourself go when it comes to love and sex. Achieving ultimate sexual pleasure and positive sexual change is easier when you break down your walls. Working on that helps to synchronise your body and mind and you’ll notice that your sex life becomes more intense, whether it’s with a partner or on your own. In fact, some women are able to experience pure orgasms again after years of self-suppression.

Sex toys help you give your body the attention it deserves. Discover which type of stimulation is right for you and experiment with different toys to get as much out of your self-pleasure as possible.

Also read: ‘Picnic sex’: long live freedom of choice

A new start

After you’ve went through the so-called proces of mono-cultivation, it’s important to stay aware of your sexual desires, thoughts, and feelings. Try to regularly take moments for yourself to reflect on your sexuality. Once you’ve discovered your authentic sexual identity, it’s much easier to satisfy your needs, and intensely enjoy self-love and the love you receive from others.

“Try to regularly take moments for yourself to reflect on your sexuality. ”

Of course it’s possible that you still have doubts about your (sexual) relationship after your mono-cultivation. In this article, you can find tips on how to boost your relationship. For more specific questions about your relationship, you can contact our in-house sexologist by filling in the contact form.