7 signs that your partner is over you

Signalen dat je vriend klaar met je is

You and your partner used to be madly in love, but these days, the atmosphere is anything but positive. He’s absent-minded, annoyed with everything you say, and he doesn’t even seem to be interested in sex anymore. Is he stressed? Maybe. But these things could also be signs that something else is going on.

Emotional imprisonment

Relationships can be wonderful. You feel safe, loved, and seen, and there’s nothing like that feeling of you two against the rest of the world. It can be liberating to be with someone who sees and accepts you as you are. At the same time, a once healthy and happy relationship can transform into an emotional prison. For example, when your boyfriend has doubts about his feelings for you, or when he wants to end things, but doesn’t know how.

Trust your gut

Some people are simply afraid of the emotional consequences of a break up. They fear tears, fights, and resentment, and they’d rather stay in a relationship that doesn’t work for as long as they can. They hope that the other person will pick up on their unhappiness and do the job for them.

Because there will be signals, that’s for sure. Whether he’s constantly picking fights, giving you the cold shoulder, or doesn’t call you the usual nicknames anymore – you’re bound to notice something’s wrong. Do you feel that he’s distancing himself? Or that he’s simply acting differently than before? Trust your intuition. If you have a strong feeling that something is wrong, you’re probably right.

Between a rock and a hard place

While it’s painful to know the truth, it’s even more painful to navigate this limbo you’re in. And what’s more, the endless analysing of those vague signals takes up so much energy in the long run. And no man is worth that, including him.

So, do you sense a breaking point in your relationship pattern? Read more about the possible signs, and compare them to your boyfriend’s behaviour. Things feeling familiar? Muster your courage and confront him with your doubts and questions. If he doesn’t come clean with you, you’ll simply have to force him. Ask him straight up if he’s still happy with you.

The answer may not be what you’d like it to be, but it’s always better than living in uncertainty with someone who’s not 100% committed to you.

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7 clear signs

1: Little to no communication

Communication is the key to any good relationship. If you don’t talk with your partner, chances are that the stability of your relationship is at risk… and that their feelings may have changed. Pay attention to these clear signs: your partner avoids conversations, only gives short answers to your questions, and asks few or no questions in return. They seem to have little interest in a nice chat, and small talk is out of the question.

If you notice that this situation keeps dragging on even after you’ve made every effort to talk to each other again, you may conclude that your partner’s feelings for you have changed. It’s painful, because there’s not much that’s more confusing than a partner who’s put up a wall and blocks any form of communication. Such an emotional blockade makes you vulnerable and insecure, and that’s exactly why it’s so important that you confront them and force them to talk: even if you’re anxious about what they’ll say.

2: Sex? A relic of the past

Remember when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other? Took every opportunity to jump in bed? That first exciting phase always passes, so that’s not something to worry about. After all, there’s more to life than sex, and couples in a healthy relationship usually find each other again.

However, a completely dried up and non-existent sex life can be a bad sign. Men are and remain physical beings who like to show their affection in bed. If your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you and stops showing initiative, it can certainly indicate that something’s up. Of course, not everyone has the same sex drive, but if their lust for you suddenly diminishes drastically, it’s usually not a very positive sign. It could mean that his feelings for you are fading, causing him to stop wanting you physically as well.

3: Endless frustrations

Sometimes you don’t realise that you’ve already been tiptoeing around your partner for a long time. You’re not 100% comfortable because he sighs at every question or remark you make, or gets irritated and starts fights when you’re around. People who sigh a lot show that they’re bored or frustrated. If your partner does this regularly, it could be one of the signs that he’s over you and your relationship.

Provoking arguments is even more worrying. A man who constantly reacts in a mean, nasty and sarcastic way often does so in order to raise tensions even higher… so that things eventually explode, and he has a good reason to end it all. Be on your guard if your usually loving partner suddenly seems to be allergic to everything you do or say. He’s most likely plotting his escape and giving you plenty of reasons to do the same.

4: Avoidance and evasion

Some men don’t show their waning interest by bickering and arguing. Instead, they start avoiding you. They may stop calling or texting you, they may be busy, or they may often escape to a different room if you live together. If somehow you never run into each other even though you live in the same house, something’s definitely going on.

He’s probably giving you a subconscious signal that he wants to break up by avoiding you. If he always has an excuse for not spending time together, it doesn’t bode well either. Does he avoid making eye contact every time you talk to each other? That’s the clearest form of avoidance, and it’s one that should set off all the alarm bells.

5: No more long-term plans

Does your partner react crabbily when you try to talk about your holiday? Or about your wedding after years of engagement? The tricky thing is that some men tend to be a bit diffident. They don’t reject you outright when you bring up an idea, forcing you to endlessly mull over what this vague stuff about the future means.

Still, it’s quite simple. A man who’s convinced of his feelings for you will not hesitate if you propose a romantic trip to Greece. He also won’t let you walk around with an engagement ring for years without living up to those plans for wedding bells. So, does he remain vague about the future and refuse to make concrete plans? Then it’s time to force him to be clear about his feelings. It might be fun for him to string you along, but you deserve better.

6: You’re not a priority

We all know that we shouldn’t deny our man his outings or football nights with his mates. And rightly so, because everyone needs some breathing space in a relationship. What’s more, it leaves you with plenty of time for endless wining, dining, and chatting with your girlfriends. Still, it’s different when his interest in you drops to zero and he spends all his time with his friends drinking pints. Or, even worse, when he stops asking you to go on social outings with mutual friends.

Have you not been together for long and does he not feel the slightest need to introduce you to his friends? And does he only meet with you if there’s no one else around? That’s a bad sign. When men are proud to be with their lady, they’re usually very eager to shout it from the rooftops. What does it say about your relationship if he keeps it quiet? You do the math, side chick.

7: Space

We all fear it: that moment when he says he needs more space. More time for himself to sort things out. Of course, this can definitely be the case. Everyone needs space for themselves in a relationship. This is not only healthy for your own development, it also helps to keep the flame alive between you two.

Still, there’s a huge difference between needing time for yourself and needing time without you. Sure, some men do need that alone time and will come back to you if you let them go in the first place. But when he outright says that he wants space away from you, that’s usually the first step towards an inevitable break-up.

signalen dat hij bij je weg wil

What to do with those signs?

There’s only one thing harder than dealing with an uninterested, unloving man. And that’s admitting to yourself that this is the end of your love story. It’s heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to someone with whom you’ve shared so much. What can make it even harder is the difference between how you once were and how you are now. You want to go to happier times when you were in love and opened up to each other. But if those feelings have faded for one of you, it’s often very difficult to rekindle the connection. The question is whether you should want to. After all, there’s such a thing as self-respect.

Express your feelings

Do you think there’s still hope for you, even though you’ve tried to talk about it together countless times? Then there’s only one thing to do… you should let him go. Perhaps he needs that space to discover that he wants to be with you after all.

At the same time, there’s a real possibility that he’ll realise that he wants nothing more than to be free. And in a way, that’s okay. Of course you’ll cry, maybe knock back a couple bottles of wine, wallow in self-pity for a while and vent with your girlfriends, or even pick up random men to boost your confidence. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all been there.

Still, those hopeless moments will become less intense, until they completely disappear by themselves. And then you realise that all the clichés exist for a reason:

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re yours. If they don’t, they were never yours to begin with.


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