Want to keep your sex life interesting? Try BDSM!
Everyone knows: your sex life can seriously crumble when you’ve been together for a long time. By using sex toys, you can make your sex life a lot more fun. Wouldn’t mind some experimentation? Try BDSM!
BDSM: what is it?
BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (BS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). It’s a (sexual) preference that revolves around having or being subjected to power or stimuli. Usually, this role-playing has to do with sex, but it doesn’t always have to. In general, one person is in control in this role-playing game. You don’t have to be afraid of pain: in BDSM, mutual trust and good communication are very important.
Having power (or giving it up)
BDSM is much more than just tying someone up or using whips and blindfolds. For some people, it’s a full lifestyle. For others, it’s something that’s mainly expressed in the bedroom. BDSM allows you to step outside your ordinary role. Do you have a demanding job where you manage a lot of people? Perhaps you’ll enjoy being submissive to a dominant partner in the bedroom. Or maybe you like being tied up, while you normally run from one place to next. In the world of BDSM, many people have a preference, for example for SM or for BD. Often, these categories overlap, hence the abbreviation BDSM.
Bondage & Discipline
BD is all about exercising control and restricting the movements of one of the partners. Hardcore BDSMers can do this with a St. Andrew’s cross or cage, but many toys are also suitable for beginners. For example, bondage can include hand or ankle cuffs, ball gags, bondage rope, or harnesses.
Reading tip: Shibari for beginners
Dominance & Submission
With DS, dominance and submission are important: one person is the dom, the other the sub. Both in BD and SM, you’ll see this division of roles. The dominant partner is the one who determines what happens. This turns them on, while the submissive person enjoys the feeling of being dominated. It’s not necessarily the case that the dominant person will belittle the sub: they can also be dominant in the bedroom by giving orders.
Sadism & Masochism
SM focuses on giving or receiving pain. A masochist likes to be hurt, while a sadist gets satisfaction from the fact that they hurt someone. As for SM toys, you can think of a whip for beginners, but for advanced users, there are also hardcore toys like dilators and pinwheels. We’ll tell you more about that later on in this article.
Try BDSM for beginners
To find out if BDSM is something for you, it’s wise to start slowly and discover exactly what it is you’re longing for. Would you like to experience being tied up? Or do you want to try undergoing (or inflicting) pain? Discuss with your partner what kind of fantasy you have. Perhaps they won’t like it, but partners are often quite open to experimenting with something new.
BDSM tips for beginners
Our most important tip: agree on a safe word. As soon as one of you says this word, your session stops immediately. This gives you the confidence to try things that you wouldn’t normally do. A word like no, stop, or mercy is not suitable, as these are often part of the role-play. It’s better to choose a word that has nothing to do with your game, such as ‘cauliflower’.
A second tip: only try BDSM when you’re sober. When using alcohol or drugs, your boundaries are less clear and you don’t want that. This also goes for your partner: you want to be able to trust them to stop immediately when you tell them to.
Finally, keep communicating. It’s better to start soft than to have regrets. So make it clear what you like and don’t like and only experiment with a partner you trust completely.
Bondage toys for beginners
Would you like to experience tying someone up, or do you want to feel submissive when you’re tied up? To get you started, we’ve listed some fun beginner’s toys for you. The easiest way to restrict someone in their freedom (bondage) are handcuffs. These come in all kinds of materials. Beginners often like the softer versions, like plush handcuffs. Satin cuffs are also a good option for beginners: with these, you can tie someone down in a gentle way.
A handy alternative to a blindfold is an eye mask. It stays neatly in place and is also easy to remove.
Want to experiment with SM?
Do you get all hot when you see Christian Grey take Anastasia in his playroom in Fifty Shades? You’re not the only one… Thanks to the books and films, BDSM has become increasingly visible in “normal” life. To start off gently with SM, you might want to opt for a small flogger or a riding whip to slap with. Sexy nipple clamps also fit with SM: most of them are adjustable, so you can decide for yourself how hard they squeeze. Or you’ll just leave that to your partner…
Being tickled while tied up can be both mean and exciting at the same time. That’s why ticklers are such a big hit in the bedroom. These are sticks with feathers, with which you can tickle your partner on their most sensitive spots: their breasts, balls, neck, under the armpits, or between the legs.
Want to try everything to see what suits you? In our shop you’ll find several BDSM starter packs. These sets are perfect if you want to discover if this form of role play is something for you. The boxes contain different kinky toys, like for example a set of cuffs, a whip, bondage tape, or rope.
Try advanced BDSM toys
If you already have more experience with BDSM, then you’re probably not waiting for pink plush handcuffs. Go for more luxury and quality. In our assortment, you’ll find beautiful leather cuffs. Or go one step further and choose an exciting combination of tying up hands and ankles. This can be done using a hogtie, where four cuffs come together at one point. Another fun toy is spreader bars. Your legs and possibly your wrists can be spread out and attached to the bar. Bondage rope is also suitable for more advanced BDSM lovers.
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Black Bondage Rope - 10mEasytoys Fetish Collection£24.99£16.99 -
Frisky Stay Put Cross Tie RestraintsFrisky£43.99
Don’t feel like hearing your partner talk? Try a BDSM ball gag: it’ll keep things nice and quiet in the bedroom. The strap is adjustable to fit every head. Want to leave an opening in their mouth? Go for a hollow gag or a mouth spreader. You can also gain easy access with a pubic lip spreader. This way, you can expose the most intimate parts of your lover (or yourself).
Advanced SM toys
Choose exciting toys like a dilator or pinwheel if you really want to hurt your sub. A dilator is a plug that’s inserted into the penis. This gives an unprecedented sensation for both him and you. We probably don’t need to tell you that you have to be very careful not to cause any damage. A starter set can help: in this way, you can go one size bigger every time. A pinwheel is a small wheel with all kinds of sharp stimuli. You roll it over the sensitive spots of your partner, which stimulates and tickles them. You can push as hard or soft as you like.
Choose a paddle to let your partner know that they’ve been naughty and deserve punishment. Paddles are often used in BDSM; it’s a board with a handle, covered with leather or artificial leather. There are even paddles that leave an imprint on the skin, like XOXO or PIG. You can hit hard with a paddle, and it’s a toy that’ll last for years.
What are your favourite BDSM toys?
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