Single parent: how to get back into the dating game?

Dating as a single parent can be trickier than dating if you don’t have any children. Being single takes some getting used to. Maybe you haven’t been on a date for years, except with your ex. You have children now and your self-confidence might be lower than it used to be. Getting back into the dating game can be nerve-racking or even scary. But if you’re ready for it, it’s a beautiful adventure. Read our tips below to help you find love again.

Embrace your life as a single parent

Build up a new life and perhaps make room for a new partner. Maybe you’re not ready for this at all, but after some time has passed and you have everything figured out for yourself and your children, you’ll have more space to breath. Don’t worry and don’t rush it, but give yourself time. Accept that a new chapter of your life is about to begin. Things are not the way they used to be. You’re a single parent now. It’s liberating to accept your new life and it gives you space to do things you love:

• Go on day trips with your children;
• Invite friends over, have a party, or cook for them;
• Walk on the beach or hike in the woods and enjoy the beauty of the world;
• Book a holiday for you and your family. Do whatever makes you happy;
• And eventually you’ll be ready to date again.

Work on yourself: you are important

You are important to your children, to your colleagues and boss, and to your friends and family. But do you actually feel important? Work on yourself and make sure you become a strong person who loves himself or herself. Don’t run from your fears or your pain caused by your past relationship. Drowning yourself in work or physical exercise doesn’t work. By making yourself stronger, you’ll experience less stress and you’ll be able to carry the burdens and responsibilities of being a single parent. And when you’re happy, you can give more love to the people you care about, and maybe even to a new partner. So how do you find a new partner?

Sign up to a dating site as a single parent

There isn’t a single man or woman to be found in your area and every person who is potentially interesting is already in a relationship, so there’s no point, right? Wrong. You just have to go out and look for potential partners. There are many places where you can find a potential partner: at the gym, at a bar, at work, or maybe even at the playground (weird, but it happens). Keep your eyes open and take every opportunity you find. Is it not very appealing to you to date someone in your neighbourhood? Sign up to a dating site or app. Find like-minded people: a man or woman whose profile appeals to you. Take a chance and just go for it. You’re not stuck with that person. If you don’t want to go on a second date, tell him or her in a friendly way, and move on with your life.

Open yourself up when you’re ready

Make sure you’ve made peace with everything that happened and get your life back on track first before you start dating again. Don’t wait around, but be active in your search. Don’t worry about anything, don’t compare yourself to others, and be confident. Only then the time is right to find the love of your life. In short, open yourself up to love when you’re ready and you’ll be able to enjoy it to the fullest.

Remember: you’re not the only single parent

It may look like you’re the only one in the world in this situation. Especially when there are no single parents in your family or group of friends. But remember that there are many other people like you, single mothers and fathers who are ready for a serious relationship and who also dream about building a new life with a special someone. A mixed family may present its challenges, but you’ll be able to overcome this if there is love. And don’t forget that there are other things in life besides being a parent. You’re a mother or father, but at the same time you’re also a woman or man who needs support, comfort, love, and sex. Shed your parent role once in a while and dress like you used to when you go out. Don’t just talk about your kids with your partner, but also about your other personal interests.

Ask yourself: doesn this person fit into your family?

We admit: your new partner doesn’t need to be a surrogate father or mother right away. But it’s good if he or she fits into your family. For example: you’re a single parent to two toddlers. A younger man who still goes out every weekend and comes home very late might not be as great an addition to your family as a man who has young children of his own.

Don’t introduce your children right away

If you’re a single parent, you’re naturally very proud of your children. If your date or new partner doesn’t have children, then it might be a little too much to show him or her all those fun pictures you have on your phone right away. Find out if you both want to go on a second date first. Then, when you’ve been together for some time, you can introduce your new lover to your children. Children need stability and don’t want to meet a new person every few months. And you don’t want that either, right? If your new partner also has children, it’s wise to keep his or her children and your children separate at first, because if you don’t, you won’t just have your own feelings to deal with, but also that of all the children. Especially when the pain caused by the separation with your partner is still very present, this is not the best way to meet each other.

Does it feel right? Go for it!

People like to talk and have opinions about everything. Does the relationship feel good to you, even though, for example, you just got divorced? Or are you dating a single parent from your children’s school? Do what you like and don’t worry about what others will think. As long as you don’t hurt others, you don’t have to give up anything.