Sexual desires

sexual desires

Sexual desires are very diverse. You can long for a touch, for a passionate kiss, for an exciting sexual encounteer, or for another man. Or maybe you long for an erotic party, experimenting with beautiful products, or to have multiple sexual partners at the same time.

Sexual desires often say something about what you want, but don’t have right now. You can have an intense desire for something or someone, and as long as that desire is not fulfilled, it will continue to exist. If you act on it, you will find that the intense desire will decrease.

Desires can be about anything, from what you want in your sexual relationship to a description of your fantasies. For example, having sex with several partners, or in a public place. It is also possible that you would like to have enjoyable sexual contact with your partner. You may long for a simple touch, no matter from who, or to have sex with your partner or with yourself in a different way than usual.
Desires can be very specific, but also more general, such as a need to experiment sexually. For example, you may want to explore a bit more during sex without knowing immediately in which direction it will go or what the outcome will be.

It can be very important to make your wishes known to your partner. Whether this is a partner you have a love relationship with, is just a one-night stand or someone you have a fling with on a regular basis. It explicitly says that it can be important, because sometimes your own desires can be just yours, without you sharing them with anyone. If you want to act upon it and want your wishes to be granted however, it is important to communicate your desires.

Communicating about sexual desires

But how can you communicate your sexual desires? It seems so easy; just go ahead and talk about it. However, it is not that simple. We know all the words we need to have a conversation and say whatever we like, but most people find it extremely uncomfortable to talk about subjects like sexuality. Let alone explicitly mentioning their wishes and desires! It is incredibly pleasant when partners can have a good conversation about their sexual relationship. If this doesn’t work for you, there are plenty of other ways to communicate and make it clear what you want.

Every sigh, breath, look, smile, touch, or hip movement is a form of communication that you can use to indicate what you want, what you like, or what you long for. You can move your hands or your partner’s hands over your body in a way that feels good. Especially when you are aroused and you notice that you are less inhibited in your thoughts and movements than usual, it is often easier to communicate with your partner. Because of the arousement, you are in the moment and you react more to what you feel instead of overthinking everything. At that moment, introducing new things can feel easier.

So body language is a nice way to indicate certain things, especially if you have a partner that listens to your body well and can follow along with you. Nevertheless, more is needed for expressing other desires. You could write a note for example, or put a post-it on the nightstand or the mirror with your wish or seductive message written on it. Or buying a lingerie set for yourself, buy a nice massage oil, a sex toy, or maybe even tickets to an erotic party. You can put on an erotic scene from a movie or send a link to a porn video to your partner. Read an erotic story to your partner or read arousing massage books at a salon with a happy end. All these actions communicate your desires: you are sending a message about something you want!

Sexual desires vs fantasies

Lastly, I want to share something important about fantasies you might have. As much as they can translate your desires: be careful with sharing your fantasies with your partner. Your fantasies are yours. And when you share them, there is a chance they will be judged. And when you want to act on them subsequently, there is even a chance the real thing is not as good as you thought. And that is such a shame! Because when it was still just your fantasy, it was very arousing and you could experience endless orgasms thinking about it. As soon as there is judgment or it loses its appeal because of a disappointing experience, you suddenly lose that lovely fantasy. So be careful with it.

Questions about sexual desires

Do you have any questions about your sexual desires or those of your partner? Or maybe about a completely different subject you want to know more about? Fill in the contact form and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

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