Masturbating

Do you masturbate? Can you masturbate with your partner lying next to you? Are you okay with your partner masturbating when you are slowly falling asleep next to them?

Are you blushing right now or can you answer these questions without flinching? Did you know that masturbating has a positive effect on both your mental and physical health? Especially if you allow yourself to do it without feeling uncomfortable or feeling any shame. Being able to masturbate without shame contributes to more positive attitudes towards masturbation and sexuality. Unfortunately, not everyone can masturbate without experiencing discomfort or shame. That’s a pity, because it can really be a great addition to your own sexuality or the sexual relationship with your partner.

What is masturbating?

Masturbating is another word for self-pleasuring: stimulating the genitalia to waken, boost, or respond to arousal. For many people, the goal is to reach an orgasm, especially when they’re on their own, but an orgasm doesn’t necessarily have to be the goal.

Both men and women can use their fingers and hands while masturbating, but you can also use extra products, such as lubricant, a vibrator, or a masturbator. However, there are many other sex toys you can use for extra stimulation!

A great advantage to feeling comfortable with masturbation is that you know what feels good and therefore you have a good idea about what kind of stimulation works for you. You can communicate this to your bed partner: after all, if you don’t know what you like, how is your partner supposed to know?

You can masturbate alone, or together. With yourself or with each other.

A misconception about masturbation is that you only do it if something is missing in your sexual relationship. This doesn’t have to be the case at all. You can enjoy it when you’re alone and your partner isn’t anywhere near you, or when you are aroused, but don’t necessarily feel like having sex with your partner. Sometimes it is simply nice to have a moment to yourself. It is also a good way of bridging the gap between the difference in libido between you and your partner: especially when that need for sex is actually the need for an orgasm.

However, it is important to realise that masturbation for women can feel very different if you’re using a vibrator in comparison to using your own hand: the high frequencies of the vibrations cannot be imitated with a hand. On the other hand, by using your hand and fingers, it is easier to feel what you are doing and which parts you are stimulating. This is more difficult with a vibrator, because you are phycially not in direct contact with your vulva.

Discover yourself, have sex with yourself, touch yourself, and feel free to do this. Both together and alone. Masturbating together may well be one of the most intimate ways to have sex with your partner.