Kunyaza: learn how to squirt the African way
While the thought of squirting still makes us giggle in western culture, it is actually perfectly normal in Rwanda. With the ancient technique of Kunyaza, Rwandan women let their ‘water’ flow freely. But what is Kunyaza? And how can you learn how to squirt yourself?
Myths and traditions
The origin of the Rwandan squirting technique is an old myth. The story goes that a queen was very much in the mood for sex while her husband was away on a military expedition. And what does a queen do in that situation? She orders one of her guards to satisfy her of course.
Waterfall
The poor man was terrified and held his penis with trembling hands in an attempt to penetrate the queen. His penis shook up and down so violently that he constantly tapped her clitoris and labia, after which the queen had a squirting orgasm. The huge waterfall that came out of her formed one of the largest lakes in East Africa. When the king came back, the queen asked him to make the same shaking movement with his penis. And that’s how the Kunyaza technique was born. In Rwanda, the story has been passed down from one generation to the other.
Sexual rite
From a western perspective, this myth, and especially the tradition that followed, is surprising. But where female ejaculation in our culture can practically only be found in the depths of the porn industry, In Rwanda it’s a normal part of female sexuality. The ‘water’ technique is being taught to both men and women from a young age. Also, women’s labia are stretched and rubbed with herbs for more sexual pleasure.
For men, Kunyaza means that they are taught how to tap and rub the top of their penis on the clitoris and labia. People have high expectations of sex. As a man, you feel very ashamed if you can’t make your wife squirt endlessly. Sex in Rwanda is not just about penetration and male lust. On the contrary, the man has to pleasure the woman and get her into a receptive state. The sexual rite of Kunyaza symbolises that idea.
So…what is squirting?
In western culture, many men and women secretly think it’s very arousing when a woman squirts, but it’s still somewhat taboo to talk about. Before we take a closer look at the squirting technique, we want to mention a common misconception. Many women think they squirt urine when they ejaculate. However, squirting is not the same as peeing. It’s possible that there are some traces of urine in the ejaculation fluid, but most if it is fluid from the Skene’s glands.
Skene’s glands
Whose glands? Yep, we had no idea either. They’re also called the ‘female prostate’, and for good reason, because in a high state of arousal and with certain stimulation, a woman can ejaculate. You can find the glands around the opening of the urethra. They produce vaginal fluid that makes penetration easier. When they are stimulated, they fill with fluid that is released through the urethra: the same tube that your urine passes through.
Mystery solved: that’s why female ejaculation feels like you’re about to pee. Completely normal, but keep in mind it’s not actually urine that is released during ejaculation.
From puddle to glands
The quantity of that milky vaginal fluid that comes out varies greatly per person. One woman might push out a small puddle, while another woman almost seems to squirt an entire river out of her vagina. Rwandan men even have a somewhat hilarious nickname for women who squirt copious amounts of fluid: ‘shami ryıikivu’, or ‘put a bucket under it’.
According to Angelica Lindsey Ali, an American professor of sexual health, Kunyaza is the easiest and most effective way of achieving female ejaculation. In a BBC-documentary, Rwandan sexologist Vestine Dusabe even claims that about ninety percent of women can learn how to squirt with this technique.
In the documentary we see how Vestine tries to keep the tradition alive in the quickly modernising urban areas of Rwanda. She teaches sex education to teenage girls and reminds them how lucky they are to live in a country where girls are not circumcised: ‘Here in Rwanda, the female experience of sexuality is part of our culture.’
The Kunyaza technique
So can you learn how to squirt with the Kunyaza method? Absolutely, but you do need some patience and practice to be able to achieve that mind-blowing squirting climax. A man’s role is essential in this: he is the one who has to pleasure you in a way that makes your water flow. In the BBC documentary, a woman even said she would throw her husband under the bed if he wasn’t able to make her squirt.
Arousing teamwork
Female ejaculation is something that both partners have to surrender to. In the classic Kunyaza position, the man sits on the bed or on the floor and the woman positions herself on his lap. If this doesn’t work for you, of course you can also lie on your back while your partner kneels between your knees.
The basic principle is quite simple. The man holds his penis and uses the glans to tap the clitoris, the labia and the vaginal opening. He starts by stimulating the inner labia and slowly works his way to the inside of the labia and the opening of the vagina. Then he stimulates the clitoris, the labia and the vagina at an increasing speed. He can alternate rhythmic tapping with circular and zigzagging movements.
Penetration
Although Kunyaza is essentially an external technique, there are variations that include penetration. In a later stage of arousal, a man can try small, playful thrusts for example. Alternating between short, small thrusts and long, deep thrusts, he can make sure the glands are even more intensely stimulated. He can also move the tip of his penis in circles against the vaginal wall for more stimulation. To make this a bit easier, he should hold his penis between his index finger and middle finger while thrusting and circling.
Tip!
Make sure you use plenty of lubricant. Or use saliva to lubricate the outside of the vagina or the tip of the penis. If you don’t, the skin might be too sensitive for tapping and rubbing. As a woman, you usually know what feels best, so feel free to take his penis from time to time so you can control the movements and the rhythm yourself. You can also make it more intense by spreading your labia.
Multiple orgasms at the same time
For Rwandan people, it’s all very clear. Every woman is capable of squirting, but not every woman squirts. Because we’re not traditionally part of the art of ‘water’, we are going to have explore it ourselves.
And it’s worth the trouble. According to Rwandan people, all that tapping and rubbing not only leads to squirting ponds, lakes and rivers out of your vagina, you can also experience multiple orgasms at the same time. If your partner knows what he’s doing of course.
No worries, no pressure
Your partner obviously can’t do it alone. You’ll have to give in to your partner, the technique and the feelings that it creates. Don’t be embarrassed, focus on yourself and give yourself permission to shamelessly enjoy it. And don’t be afraid to be in the moment. Mindfulness is an amazing tool to let go of your thoughts and lose yourself in the sensations in your body.
Don’t feel any pressure to squirt. Can’t make it work? No worries, no pressure.
Oh, and one final tip: don’t be alarmed when fluid flows out of your vagina. It might feel like you have to pee, but that’s not the case. So push a little harder, so the ‘water’ can flow and squirt!
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