How much masturbation is normal?

Thankfully people no longer believe masturbation causes deafness, infertility, or insanity. We now see it for what it is: a normal and natural part of human sexuality. Still the question remains if there is such a thing like too much solo sex. It is possible to masturbate too often? And if you do, will it cause damage? 

Masturbation peak during lockdown

Humans definitely enjoy their solo sex. About 85 percent of women has masturbated at some point in her life and a fourth enjoys self-pleasure multiple times a month. The coronavirus significantly increased these numbers. We spend most of our time at home and we get bored. While taking one boring Zoom call after the other, our thoughts wander to more enjoyable activities. Like masturbating.

Two to three times a day

Research shows that surge in self-pleasure led to a masturbation peak during the first lockdown. More than 1,400 people were asked about their sex life during the pandemic and more than 85 percent of single people said they masturbated more than before the lockdown: from three times a week to five times a week. 39 percent of people in a relationship said they masturbated more than before the pandemic as well.

The results of British research conducted by LELO were more or less the same. 18 percent of the participants said working from home was the ideal masturbation playground and that they had increased the frequency from two to three times a day. The sale of sex toys surged during that time.

Time and boredom

The main reason for this increase? People were bored or had a hard time keeping to a work schedule. Self-pleasure is a small diversion, after which you can quickly return to your work or studies.

Your surroundings present the ideal situation. There aren’t many people who would sneak off to the loo for some solo sex while working at the office. Or who would let their hands wander around their erogenous zones under their desk. If you’re at home however, nobody is watching and you can do whatever you want.

Masturbation can also be a relieve of tension in the body. An orgasm is the perfect release that allows you to let go of all that build-up stress. That euphoric feeling can lift your spirits, so you can get back to work and be productive again.

Can masturbation cause damage?

The good news is that there is no reason whatsoever to believe that masturbation can be physically or psychologically damaging. All those myths that surrounded self-pleasure for centuries are all nonsense. It won’t make you go blind, deaf, or insane, and your vagina really won’t ‘wear out’ if you enjoy solo sex regularly.

Masturbate more for better sex

In fact, self-pleasure is a natural way of exploring your body, to develop sexual pleasure, and to release tension. Research shows that women who masturbate on a regular basis often have a more satisfying sex life compared to women who don’t or barely masturbate.

Why? Because they understand how their body works. And because they know how to achieve sexual pleasure by stimulating their sensitive spots. That gives them a more positive self-image, more confidence in bed, and a better sex life in general.

Solo sex in a relationship

It’s normal to still need solo sex if you’re in a relationship. It’s even a good thing, because it only improves sex with your partner. Masturbation with or without a sex toy will definitely not undermine your sex life. On the contrary; you find out exactly what you like between the sheets.

Besides, nothing is as relaxing and healthy as a good masturbation session. It helps you fall asleep, it can relieve menstruation pain, and it reduces stress. It even strengthens your pelvic floor muscles and boosts your immune system. Win-win!

Can you masturbate too much?

Masturbation isn’t dangerous and doesn’t have any negative effects on your health. If you only consider physical effects, there’s no such thing as too much masturbation. At the same time, excessive self-pleasure can have a negative influence on your mental well-being. So how much is too much? When is masturbation a healthy, welcome boost and when does it become obsessive compulsive behaviour? And what is a normal masturbation frequency?

Magic number

That last question is difficult to answer. What seems like too much to one person might be absolutely fine to another person. And where one person never feels the need to pleasure themselves, another person might masturbate twice a day. There’s no magic number and it doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not. Still, there are some situations where masturbation can become a problem.

Addicted to masturbation

Masturbation is a problem when it becomes compulsory; when you can’t get through your day having an orgasm. If you think this is a typical male problem, you’re wrong. Women too can become so addicted to masturbation that it takes over their whole life.

As is the case with any addiction, a masturbation addiction has far-reaching consequences. People who can’t stop masturbating are often not as productive at work or in college. They also neglect or ruin friendships or relationships, because their only focus is on getting that next shot of solo sex.

Red flags

If you rather watch some porna in bed than go out with your friends on Friday night, you know that you’ve got a problem. Or when your partner’s efforts don’t get any more than an obligatory groan out of you while you fantasize about your wild solo plans. Or when you’re always late for work because you have to masturbate beforehand.

Are you afraid that your masturbation sessions take up too much of your time and focus? See if you recognise yourself in the following statements:

• You catch yourself constantly thinking about masturbation
• You’re easily distracted because you’re daydreaming about masturbation all the time
• You skip daily activities, classes, or tasks
• You cancel plans with friends or family because you rather stay home to masturbate
• You can’t get through your day without having an orgasm
• You know that masturbation plays a main role in your life, but you’re unable to do anything about it

Sometimes your body will tell you that your self-love goes a bit too far. Women who finger themselves often in a very short period of time often experience skin irritation and clitoral pain. If you have to keep increasing the speed or intensity of your fingering sessions, there are consequences for your vagina as well.

If you’re at that point where you really have to give it everything you’ve got, it’s usually not about self-pleasure or having an orgasm anymore. At that point masturbation becomes compulsive behaviour; something you have to do to relieve painful sensations or emotions for example.

Why do you masturbate so often?

As you can see, it not about how often you masturbate, but why you masturbate. As long as self-pleasure is part of your life, but isn’t controlling it, there’s no problem. But when it becomes an escape, or starts to replace real life experiences, you may want to consider slowing down.

Not sure about your reasons for masturbating? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you satisfied with your life, career, relationship, and friendships?
• How do you feel when you have the need to masturbate?
• Do you have more need to masturbate during certain periods of time or events in your life?
• Do you still have sex with your partner and is your sex life satisfactory?
• Do you have problems reaching a climax while having sex with your partner?

Escaping reality

The reasons that you masturbate can be more important than the frequency of your trips ‘down under’. Some people use masturbation to escape reality. That can lead to them closing themselves off emotionally from everything and everyone they know, even their partner. Those excessive solo sex sessions are a clear sign that something is wrong emtionally or mentally.

When this is the case for you, there’s a risk that you’ll create a distance between you and the people you love more and more. But not just that, it’s also possible that at some point you’re only able to have ‘satisfactory’ sex when it’s with yourself. This is especially the case if you masturbate the same way over and over again and condition your body to only get aroused by a certain type of routine stimulation.

Frustration outlet

If you masturbate because you feel compelled to do it, you might want to ask yourself whether or not your actions are obsessive. Usually you’re just looking for an outlet for your frustrations and stress. Although having an orgasm is a great way to eliminate tension, it’s not that effective anymore if you feel a compulsive need for solo sex every couple of hours.

If you don’t know what to do with your negative feelings, it’s a good idea to try to explore those feelings instead of trying to finger them away.

Find help in case of a compulsive masturbation routine

There is nothing wrong with masturbation. In fact, it should be a pleasurable part of your sexuality. However, it’s important to find the right balance. If you regularly have sex with yourself because you simply enjoy it, then it’s all good.

But if your masturbation sessions control your life or grow into an obsession that takes up most of your time, you may want to talk to a sexologist. They can help you find the causes behind your compulsive masturbation routine.

Your sexual exploration journey should be enjoyable and not an obsessive quest to reach a climax as often as possible. So feel free to explore and pleasure your erogenous zones with your fingers or toys. But make sure to ask for help if you lose control over your masturbation routine.