From dream to dream woman: Become who you’ve always wanted to be

van droom naar droomvrouw

Be honest: what do you think of when you hear the word “dream woman”? Do you think of a supermodel with perfect looks? Do you think of a woman who has it all financially and never has to work again? Or an influencer on social media, with a dreamy Insta-husband, a super cute kid, and a dog? You probably don’t think of yourself when you think of a dream woman. And that’s a shame, because you deserve it.

Become the dream woman you’ve always wanted to be

Rest assured: this is not an article telling you that you can lose 5 kg in a week by not eating. Or that you should have your vagina tightened to make your partner happy. We do offer you tools to change things, so you can feel better about yourself. Not only physically, but also mentally. The magic word? Contentment.

How often have you read that women feel more confident once they get older? This is partly because you learn to accept that certain things are simply the way they are. The urge to be the prettiest, thinnest, richest, or youngest seems to fade into the background as you get to a certain age. You learn to love certain characteristics or physical traits more, or at least they’re no longer as important to you.

Why change anything about yourself?

We’re the last ones to say that you need to change something about yourself, let’s make that clear. It’s also important to be realistic. If you’re unhappy, for example because of a crooked nose, there’s a chance that you’ll still be unhappy after surgery, even if your nose is straight. Changing your appearance is no guarantee of a long and happy life. Still, it can bring you to a better place mentally. An example: about three years ago, I set myself the goal of finally reaching a healthy weight. In a healthy way, so by doing more exercise and eating better food, over a longer period of time. The biggest difference was not the physical change (35 kilos lighter), but the mental one: I felt like I had reached the top of the world, and I felt so much better in my skin. My mental strength (perseverance) made me feel happier than the smaller clothing size, although that was also part of my goal.

The problems you have with your appearance can be easy or difficult to remedy. You can easily have a few wrinkles injected with Botox, but having your loose skin removed is a lot more painful and expensive. The question is: is it worth doing, and where does it stop? After removing your wrinkles, do you also want lip fillers? And after your tummy tuck, would you also like a breast lift? And if so: are you doing this for yourself, or for someone else?

Social media creates uncertainty

I’ve said it before: by being content with yourself, you can become the dream woman you’ve always wanted to be. Still, I know it’s not so easy to feel that way. Advertisements and social media make us constantly strive to be better, or to have more than we do. Thus, frequent use of social media could lead to loneliness, anxiety, jealousy, and depression. It’s mostly young teenage girls who suffer from this. Between 2010 and 2015, the number of severely depressed students in the US increased by a staggering 33%, according to research published in Clinical Psychological Science. And even worse, suicide rates rose by 31% as well. Research shows that young people who spend more than three hours a day on social media are more likely to experience mental health issues.

Becoming a dream woman by being more content

Being content with yourself: it’s easier said than done. We tend not to be satisfied with our appearance, work, health, our achievements in life, the balance on our savings account, the amount of sex we have, and more. But how can we become content?

Realise what you do have

Your house may not be the biggest one in the street. And your car may not be the newest, fastest, or most expensive. But you do have a safe roof over your head, and you can get to work with your own transport. You might also have a lovely family or pet that you share your home with, or you might just enjoy the fact that you don’t have to share your home. Make a list of all the good things you have, even though they may feel so “normal” that you’d almost forgotten about them.

Live in the present

Learn from the past, live in the present, and believe in the future. You can’t change the past, the future is yet to come, and real life is lived now. Take a moment to pause consciously and focus on the things you do. Realise how it feels when you walk barefoot on the beach. Or when you eat that delicious cake without your phone in your hand, so you can consciously enjoy it. This way, you won’t overlook the nice moments.

Reading tip: Sexy without insecurities

Look at your strengths

What are you very happy with? What are your good character traits? And what do you like best about yourself in terms of appearance? Negative things often dominate our thoughts: you care more about that one negative comment than the ten positive ones above it. This makes it harder to say something positive about yourself, and you can easily point out a whole bunch of negative things. Making a list helps you to see your strengths.

Becoming a dream woman? Perfection does not exist

It’s very simple: no one is perfect. Something can seem so beautiful, yet there’s always a downside. Thinking your life will be better with a new smartphone, for example, is an illusion. Even that new phone will be dropped on the floor one day, get scratched, and then you’ll want a new one. Perhaps your life is perfect without a new phone (or a higher bank balance, bigger breasts, cooler car, exotic trips)?

That dream girl is just inside you already. She’s closer than you realise. And she’s ready to come out. She just needs a nudge. Will you help her out?

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