Elles (43). ‘The courage to make choices helps you get ahead’

If you don’t take risks, you won’t get anywhere. With that motto as her guide, 43-year-old Elles makes her way through life. She became a mother at 23 and subsequently let go of her ambitions. She dropped out of college, didn’t take good care of her body, and didn’t give herself, in her own words, ‘enough self-love’. She noticed that she wasn’t able to be kind to others, because she wasn’t kind to herself. Then she turned her life around and through several courageous decisions, she took back control over her own life.

Prioritising happiness

At 27, Elles wasn’t happy with her body. When she became a mother for the second time and she sat with her daughter, who was 2 and a half at the time, in the kiddie pool, she had had enough. She decided to work on her body, started eating healthy, and lost 5.5 stones.
Just when she started to blossom again, she lost her father when she was 30 years old. Not long after that, her mother became mentally ill and she spend a lot of time caring for her. After 3 years, Elles noticed that she didn’t take good care of herself anymore. So with a heavy heart, she decided to hand over the care for her mother to someone else in order to prioritise her own life again.

Self-love and relaxation

She quit her job, became a college student, and made time for her hobbies; music and sports. ‘’I meet many people who are afraid to retrain or make other drastical decisions. But if you don’t take risks, you won’t get anywhere. What’s the worst thing that can happen?’’, says Elles. After completing her studies, she found a job in healthcare that even after 11 years she still very much enjoys. She also spends a lot of time on self-love, relaxation, and her children. This balance in life is the fruitful result of the courage of making choices.

‘My happiness doesn’t depend on the colour of my hair’

Considering self-love in the broadest sense of the word plays a significant role in Elles’ life, she tries to give her children the right tools to handle this the right way. ‘’What social media sometimes does to people is heart-breaking. I teach my children to love themselves and to keep in mind that everyone has the right to a good life. In any way, shape or form.’’

She keeps working on those ideals herself. Elles tells us that she is more and more able to step into her female strength. She doesn’t dye her hair anymore and she is a member of the ‘silver sisters’ community: a group of women who embrace their grey hair. ‘’When I decided not to dye my hair anymore, I noticed how quick people are to judge. Even people I know asked me why I did that, told me that it made me look much older, and asked me what my husband thought about it.’’ Despite that, she says it only made her more confident. ‘’My happiness doesn’t depend on hair dye.’’

Finally, what does Elles see in her own portrait?
An upbeat, cheerful, happy, beautiful, and strong woman who lives a good life and feels comfortable in her own body.

Also read: Fabiënne Schriek (26). Professional taboo-breaker