Column: pregnancy and sex


Liv and Dean were lucky enough to get pregnant very quickly after deciding to try to have a baby. That’s why they didn’t properly consider the possible impact of it on their sex life. If it had taken a little longer, they possibly would have been more aware of it. Now she was 8.5 months pregnant and they hadn’t had sex since the conception. The spark suddenly just wasn’t there anymore.

At first, Liv was too tired and nauseous to be in the mood for sex. But when the nausea past and her need for sex resurfaced every now and then, Dean rejected the idea. He was afraid. And because it had been a while, Liv was afraid as well. So they were both trapped in insecurity and fear, with an intense desire to be intimate one last time before life wasn’t just about the two of them anymore.

They would have liked to talk about their sexual relationship and how it could change beforehand. They thought that, as a woman, Liv’s hormones would increase her desire for sex, but this didn’t happen. And considering Dean was practically always in the mood for sex with the love of his life, he couldn’t have predicted either that he would be the one to say no when Liv was ready for it again.

The irony is that they had talked about many different things beforehand to prevent ended up in a baby bubble: about their jobs, daycare, spending time together, their social network, sports, and spending time alone. But they forgot about sex and intimiacy and now they were at a loss when it came to bridging that huge physical distance they created between them.

Unfortunately, this is all in hindsight, but now they see that especially these themes, sexuality and intimacy, are important to talk about. Everything else would have fallen into place out of necessity, but not this. Liv and Dean put it aside for about 8 months, without anyone or anything forcing them to deal with it. There was no social control, no boss, no trainer, nobody telling them to show up together. They had to do it together. They carry the responsibility for their intimate and sexual relationship together, and they had completely neglected it.

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