Catcalling: offensive in the street, sexy in the bedroom?

Sexual comments in the street, someone putting their hands on your bum, sexual hand gestures: most women will recognise at least one of these situations. It is called ‘catcalling’ or street intimidation. More and more women tend to take a stand against derogatory comments and unwanted sexual gestures from strangers. But what about catcalling in the bedroom? Can it be sexy in that particular setting?

What is catcalling?

Have you ever experienced someone shouting sexual remarks at you in the street? Someone cornering you in a cafe or making sexual hand gestures at you for no apparent reason? Unfortunately, catcalling is a widely known problem. Research shows that no less than 79% of women in Amsterdam between the ages of 15 and 35 experienced catcalling in their life. Catcallers tend to be young men between the ages of 18 and 25.

 

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Catcalling is often considered an expression of sexual objectification. The feelings of the person being catcalled or being inappropriately touched are not taken into account at all. Many people who consider themselves feminists see sexual objectification as a reprehensible thing that emphasises the inequality between men and women. For many women, it also causes annoyance and discomfort, and it can even make them feel unsafe.

Catcalling in the bedroom: sexy?

Is it different in the bedroom? Sometimes we don’t mind at all when our partner calls calls us a ‘slut’ or sees us as a sexual object. At least that is what research from Florida State University and Northwestern University conducted among women in a heterosexual marriage shows.

This research indicates that women who describe their marriage as ‘happy’ like to be appreciated for their sexuality. That conclusion isn’t actually that surprising. It’s different when your partner tells you you’re sexy than when a random person in the street shouts it at you. That same study also shows that women who are not in a serious relationship don’t like being treated as a sexual object. One of the reasons for this could be that they don’t want the relationship to be just about sex.

‘I love catcalling’

Catcalling can make you feel very uncomfortable. Especially if the situation feels threatening, for example if you’re alone after dark and a couple of men are shouting sexual remarks at you. On the other hand, there are also women who do like to be catcalled, or enjoy someone saying ‘hey, beauty’ when they walk by. This is a very personal thing and can vary per situation. A catcall coming from a handsome man can feel like a compliment, while a group of men catcalling you in a dark alley can feel like a threat.

As sexual objectification isn’t a positive thing, not many women would admit to enjoying being catcalled or inappropriately touched. Still, there are many stories on the internet of women who like to be catcalled. And also of people who are insecure about their appearance, because they’ve never been catcalled in their life.

Can catcalling enrich your sex life?

Some people take catcalling as a compliment. It can boost your confidence, which can enrich your sex life. In most cases however, catcalling will feel like sexual intimidation; not something to be happy about. Can your sex life use some more excitement? Try dirty talk! You could whisper naughty words in your lover’s ear for example. The possibilities of dirty talk are endless. From saying ‘hey, pssst, sexy…’ if your lover shuffles through the living room in an old shirt and baggy trousers to explicitly telling your partner what you’re planning on doing with them in the bedroom.