The connection between sleep and sex

Sleep and sex: two of the most important things you can do in the bedroom. Are the two connected and, if so, is it possible to improve your sex life by sleeping better?

How are sleep and sex connected?

Parents who have just had a baby are often extremely tired due to all the interrupted nights. Their sex lives are often on hold during the first few months after the birth. That’s why it’ll come as no surprise when we say that sleep and sex are inextricably linked. The better you sleep, the greater the chances of good, energetic sex. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true: the worse you sleep, the more likely you are to have a crumbling sex life. The good news: you can improve your sleep cycle.

Improving your sleep cycle

“Sleep is directly linked to your performance,” says sleep expert and author of the book The Power of When, Dr Michael Breus. “That also counts for your relationship and sexual performance.” To improve your sex life, it’s not only important to get enough sleep, but also to consider your natural sleep cycle. It’s about getting a better understanding of when you should be sleeping according to your biological clock. Incidentally, getting enough sleep is not only important for your sex life, but is also necessary in order to function well on a day-to-day basis. It makes you more energetic and more able to deal with irritations.

The influence of hormones on sleep and sex

According to Dr Breus, there are 5 hormones that must be present and well balanced in your body for good sex. These are testosterone, progesterone, oestrogen, cortisol, and adrenaline. The sleep hormone melatonin should be present to a lesser extent in your hormone levels. These levels change throughout the day. Although you might be in the mood when you go to bed, your partner may be too tired to get some action. They’ll have probably produced more melatonin. The good news? By understanding your biological clocks, you can try to align your biorhythms. This is where chronotypes come in.

What are the four chronotypes?

Dr Breus is the one who developed the chronotypes. In order to determine the best way to organise your day, he looks at what type you are. There are 4 different types: the dolphin, the lion, the bear, and the wolf. If you know your chronotype, you can learn how best to deal with your day and night rhythm. For example, a dolphin suffers from a chronic lack of sleep and wakes up at the slightest sign of trouble.

Tip: You can discover your chronotype through this test from Psychologie Magazine. The test results will give you 7 points of advice that fit your chronotype.

Chronotype bear

Most people can be categorised as the chronotype bear. The bear performs best around mid-morning and often feels a mid-afternoon dip in energy. Bears can use these tips to perform optimally:

• Make sure you wake up early (between 6:00 am and 7:00 am) and go to bed around 10:00 pm or 11:00 pm.
• Eat a hearty breakfast that provides enough energy for the rest of the day.
• Make a schedule listing everything you need to do on a working day and work on the important tasks around mid-morning.
• Give yourself an energy boost by going outside for a walk or just some fresh air during your lunch break.
• If you often feel a slump around mid-afternoon, that would be a good time to schedule meetings. Don’t work on difficult tasks around that time.

Chronotype wolf

For people whose chronotype is the wolf, the early morning is not their favourite time of day. They prefer to stay up late and that is when they are most productive. Here are some tips for wolves:

• Try to get up a bit later than average but make sure this doesn’t affect your work or schedule too much – around 8:00 am is a good time. Staying up late is no problem although it is best to go to bed around midnight.
• Get some fresh air in the morning to wake up properly.
• You can have your breakfast somewhat later in the morning.
• You’ll probably be most productive around 2:00 pm, so this would be the best time to schedule tasks that require most of your energy and focus.
• Chronotype wolf people feel a surge of energy around 5:00 pm – you often get a lot more work done around this time, especially when your colleagues have already left the office.
• Exercising or sports are best done in the evening.

Chronotype dolphin

Dolphins are extremely light sleepers. They have trouble falling asleep and often wake up during the night. Most people suffering from insomnia can be categorised as having a dolphin chronotype. These tips can help you:

• After a restless night, it is still best to get up early.
• Enjoy a healthy and well-balanced breakfast and take a cold shower (between 6:00 am and 10:00 am).
• You’re probably most productive between mid-morning and early afternoon, so this is the best time to schedule important tasks.
• If you feel tired after lunch, go for a walk to boost your energy.
• Sports and exercise are best planned for the late afternoon, early evening.
• Make sure to stop looking at screens after 10:00 pm, so put away your tablet, phone, and laptop and take a hot shower.
• Go to bed around midnight.

Chronotype lion

The lion likes to get up early and is most productive in the morning. They often go to bed early so they can get up early as well. Here are some tips for lions:

• As lions are real morning people, it’s good to get up early. We recommend between 5:30 am and 6:30 am.
• Do your exercises or sports right after getting out of bed and eat your breakfast afterwards.
• Your productivity will peak between 10:00 am and noon. Try to schedule your main tasks around that time.
• Chronotype wolf people often experience an energy dip around 2:00 pm, so it would be wise to plan less complicated tasks for the afternoon.
• After having dinner quite early in the evening, hit the sack around 10:00 pm.

Tips for better sleep

Dr Breus’ tips can help you find out what your chronotype is and when your most active moments are. There are also general tips that can help you find a better balance in your sleep and sex rhythm:

• Make sure you wake up at the same time every day;
• Avoid intake of caffeine (coffee, tea, soda & energy drinks) after 2:00 p.m.;
• Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day;
• Avoid blue light (from screens such as your laptop, phone, tablet, and TV) before going to bed;
• Do not drink alcohol late at night;
• Start the day with a large glass of water and 15 minutes of direct sunlight.

If you know your chronotype, you can also plan the timing of difficult conversations. Sufficient sleep also means less irritation and fewer annoyances. And that, in turn, will make it easier for the two of you to grow closer together.