Sexual soulmates, do they exist?

A soulmate is someone with whom you have a strong connection, which you can feel deep inside your soul. But can you also be sexual soulmates with someone? A person with whom you have a better sexual connection than you and your partner have? Yes, that’s possible!

A soulmate, what’s that?

First, let’s talk about what people mean when they talk about “soulmates”. We call someone a soulmate when we feel a deep, spiritual connection with that person. You genuinely understand each other and share an intense, emotional bond. This means you can experience incredible highs but also extreme lows. It feels like the two of you form a united front and have the same intuitions, almost like you can think for the other person. That’s how deep your connection is.

Your soulmate doesn’t necessarily have to be your partner, and your partner isn’t necessarily a soulmate. You may be in a great relationship and have a friendship with someone else who feels like a soulmate to you but to whom you’re not sexually attracted.

What are sexual soulmates?

Sometimes you meet them: your sexual soulmate—a person whose body seems to be made to fit yours. Everything in the bedroom is intense, the chemistry is visible, and the tension palpable when you’re in the same room together. Sexual soulmates are good at communicating about sex and aren’t afraid to say what they like and dislike. There is excellent chemistry between the two of you on a sexual level, but you’re not necessarily in love with each other. You might get having good sex and being sexual soulmates confused. The difference is in the connection between the two of you: that bond is what makes you (sexual) soulmates.

Six signs you’re sexual soulmates

How do you know if someone is your sexual soulmate? You can recognize it by the following.

1. It’s different from all of your other experiences

You’ll probably notice the first time you have sex together: this experience is different from all of the other times. Even when you’re both dressed, the tension is palpable, and when you go to bed, the sparks really begin to fly, so much so you even think you might need a fire extinguisher on hand.

2. The other person knows what they’re doing, without having to be told

No need to say ‘a bit more to the left, or go a bit faster’, no: your sexual soulmate doesn’t need instructions. You’re on the same wavelength, so much so that everything seems to work out.

3. They are focused on your pleasure…

…and you’re focused on theirs. Say goodbye to faking an orgasm: every climax is sincere. If you’re genuinely sexual soulmates, you’ll both be satisfied and won’t be selfish when it comes to pleasure.

4. Sexual soulmates want to try out new things

Everyone has different things that turn them on, and experimenting shouldn’t be a problem for you since you’re sexual soulmates. Talking about your desires and fulfilling them is very normal for you two.

5. You blindly trust each other

It should come naturally, but unfortunately, this isn’t always the case: trusting someone you’re having sex with. But your sexual soulmate? Them you can trust 100%. When you say stop, they’ll stop right away. And the same applies the other way around, of course.

Also read: How do you say no while you’re already at it?

6. Other people notice the chemistry between you two

When you’re together, sparks fly. And you’re not the only two who can feel the tension in the air: other people notice it too. Think of Billie and Brad from Sex/Life. If that’s the case, you can be sure that the two of you are sexual soulmates.

So, what if you haven’t found your soulmate yet?

That’s completely fine too. Because a publication in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that it’s mainly a mental issue whether you have a satisfying sex life or not. According to the research conducted by two Canadian Universities, there are two types of people: people who believe in sexual soulmates and people that think that, by working on it, you can improve your sex life. A notable result is that mainly men believe in sexual soulmates, and women tend to think that your sex life grows through communication. “This comes as a surprise to many people, given that they think women tend to believe more in romantic things such as soulmates,” says Jessica Maxwell. She is the leading researcher involved in the study conducted by the University of Toronto. “But that’s probably because women, in general, have to ‘work’ harder to reach an orgasm.” Her advice: if you want to believe in sexual soulmates, that’s totally fine, but you should remain open to the idea that good sex could also require some effort.