Happy Fetish Day! Everything about sexual fetishes

Today is World Fetish Day: the day where we put a spotlight on and celebrate sexual fetishism in all shapes and sizes. Fetishism is an important aspect of the world of sexual preferences, even though many people don’t have a fetish. Do you want to know if you have a fetish or do you simply want to know more about sexual fetishism in general? Find out everything you need to know in this article.

What is a fetish?

When someone experiences arousal from a specific lifeless object, material, piece of clothing, or a body part that is not the genitalia, it is considered a fetish.

Fetishism is an umbrella term for all different kinds of fetishes. Fetishism is a form of paraphilia, which is a term in the field of psychology for many sexual preferences that are not part of the ‘common spectrum’. Paraphilia, which includes fetishism, involves a form of sexual arousal that is not as easy to achieve in situations where a person’s particular preference doesn’t come into play. 

The difference between sexual preferences and fetishes

Sexual arousal from genitalia, breasts, or buttocks is not considered a fetish; most people are aroused by one or more of these body parts. However, when it involves arousal from a different specific body part, like feet (a common fetish), it is called a fetish. It’s all about the arousal people feel when they are confronted with their fetish through various media, in their own fantasy, or by encountering it in real life.

”Sexual arousal from genitalia, breasts, or buttocks is not considered a fetish.”

The same goes for sexual actions or preferences; some people might enjoy the idea of having a threesome for example. This fantasy triggers many people on a sexual level. Nevertheless, this is not considered a fetish. But when it involves a preference, for example ‘wanting to be seen by someone during a sexual act’ (exhibitionism), or actions where one person is being humiliated, beaten, or tied up (BDSM; Bondage Discipline Sadism Masochism), it is called a fetish. 

What kind of fetishes are there?

There are thousands of fetishes. The general rule is that there is a fetish for every object or piece of clothing that exists in the world. The most common fetishes include feet fetishes and vinyl, leather, or latex fetishes. There are many people who experience arousal from wearing a certain material. Latex fetishists often say that the smooth material feels like a second skin to them. This experience is arousing to them. Some people wear latex beneath their clothing when they go to work. They enjoy having this exciting secret that nobody knows about.

”The most common fetishes include feet fetishes and vinyl, leather, or latex fetishes.”

An example of a lesser known fetish is wool fetish. There is a community of wool fetishists, which is active on the fetishism spectrum, that swears by the feeling of soft wool. Soft wool fetishists enjoy wearing things like bodystockings made of wool. Many fetishes revolve around clothing. For example, there are people (both men and women) who get their kicks out of wearing panties or high heels. 

I have a fetish. Is that weird? 

Having a fetish isn’t weird at all. Practically everyone has certain sexual preferences and everyone has their own unique sexuality. Just because fetishes are not as common doesn’t mean that having a fetish makes you weird. According to neuroscientist Debra W. Soh, 1 in 6 people have a fetish, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You either have a fetish or you don’t, there is often nothing you can do about it. Some people are ashamed of having a fetish because it’s still very much taboo due to the unusual nature of fetishes. But it shouldn’t be taboo at all.

”According to neuroscientist Debra W. Soh, 1 in 6 people have a fetish,”

If you feel ashamed anyway, think about it like this: you have something that provides you exceptional arousal. Whether it’s a well-known or a more uncommon fetish, it gives you the gift of maximum arousal in your life and not many people can say that about their common or standard sexual preferences. It is important to note however that your fetish should not be harmful to you or others. If this is the case, or if your fetish becomes problematic, the best thing to do is to contact a sexologist or psychologist. But if your fetish doesn’t cause harm and isn’t problematic, don’t hesitate to embrace your special sexual preference and enjoy it to the fullest. 

How do fetishes develop?  

Scientists can’t agree on how fetishes develop. Most experts believe they always relate to one of the following aspects:

• Childhood; fascination and association with a certain object
• Adolescence; development of unique preferences during masturbation while going through puberty
• Childhood trauma; inappropriate sexual behaviour in the past
• Not social; absence of ‘normal’ sexual contact, leading to a search for alternatives
• Anxiety disorder; fear of rejection and humiliation
• Random; developing a fetish at some point in life without an apparent reason

It’s difficult to determine how fetishes develop and where they come from. If you have a fetish, it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Consider the points above and analyse which point(s) might apply to you. If you have a question about fetishes, we recommend contacting a sexologist or psychologist.

The difference between BDSM & fetishism

When people hear the word ‘fetishism’ they almost always think of BDSM or S&M. This is because most fetishes originate from BDSM. But there are also other sexual preference groups with various, but perhaps lesser known, fetishes. In short, fetishism can’t always be traced back to BDSM, but the most well-known fetishes do originate from it. Which is why people often link fetishes to BDSM.

Also read: BDSM for beginners: all BDSM rules in one overview