Baby-making sex: how do you keep it fun?

Baby-making sex: having sex to get pregnant. You can have this kind of sex when you as a woman are in your most fertile time of the month. There is nothing wrong with planned sex. If you want to have a child, then that is simply what you need to do. But it’s not always fun, as it can be very rushed and a bit awkward and clinical. Luckily, there are ways to keep your baby-making sex fun. This is also the experience of Nina. She and her husband wanted to have a child and they did everything to get pregnant. And it worked! She therefore loves to share her tips with us, so everyone can keep it fun in the bedroom.

Think positive about baby-making sex

You’re going to have sex tonight, because your ovulation is just a couple of days away. At least, that’s what your ovulation test or thermometer indicates. Or perhaps you’ve read it in your fertility app. Whatever the case: tonight, you and your partner, sex. “Sometimes it becomes a whole thing and your wish to get pregnant blocks your lust completely. Turn those thoughts around, which is easier on some days than other days, and try to think about how lovely and pleasant sex can be”, says Nina. “Start flirting with each other at breakfast. There are great moments ahead of you at the end of the day. And that is a strange thought, but also very exciting. If you want, you and your partner can agree on really taking your time with it and going for extra pleasure.”

Build up arousal beforehand

“When you leave the house in the morning and know that you’re going to have baby-making sex that night, it can feel sort of strange. Especially because it so unusual to schedule sex with your partner. Make a virtue out of neccessity and build up your arousal throughout the day. Sexting is perfect for that”, Nina says enthousiastically. “Take an arousing picture of your breasts or your unbuttoned trousers when you’re at work and send it to your partner. Think of a fun caption, like ‘hey, you’ or ‘we’ll be ready for you tonight’. Let your fantasy run wild, send funny texts, and think of naughty captions. You will start looking forward to having sex that night more and more.”

Getting in the mood for baby-making sex

Having sex on command is difficult when you’re not in the mood. Watching porn, reading an erotic story, or masturbating during the day is the way to get in the mood, according to our experience expert. Nina: “Having sex when you’re not in the mood, is not pleasant at all. Then sex becomes a chore and you want to prevent that. Give yourself and your partner the time to arouse feelings of lust. Read passages from a porn magazine or book to each other. Lie in your partner arms and watch a great sex scene together. In the meantime, carress each other, love each other, and let those feelings of lust come to the surface.”

Baby-making sex: plan a quickie

Imagine: it’s a day where you’re fertile, but because of work, sport, or other engagements, you have exactly one hour to have dinner and have sex. How can you make the most of that? Prepare dinner the day before or buy a microwave meal, put lubricant on the nightstand, and make sure your sex toys are ready to use. Flirt with each other and build up arousal throughout the day. Making it easy for yourself and saving time is the best thing you can do according to Nina. “I can remember a particular baby-making quickie. We had 45 minutes and everything was ready to go. After dinner we looked at each other and my partner said: ‘Ready, set, go!’ And we sprinted to the bedroom. An hour later I was at football practice and I secretly giggled: nobody knew what I was doing only an hour ago.”

Have more sex to focus on pleasure

You usually have to have sex more often during that one fertile week per month if you want to get pregnant. Even though you try stay positive, it can be physically and mentally challenging if your wish hasn’t come true (yet). Make sure you don’t associate having sex with making a baby. Then it becomes a burden and you might develop an aversion to it. Have sex more often! Create a romantic ambience and pleasure each other like never before. Celebrate your love, enjoy and stimulate, make love, and have an orgasm. Sex is not just about reproduction, but definitely also about pleasure. Make it as enjoyable as possible. Sex brings you and your partner closer together and that’s exactly what you need in these uncertain times.

Baby-making sex in the strangest places

Baby-making sex shouldn’t become a routine. Do it differently every time: not just the way you have sex, but also the places where you have sex. A couple of tips from Nina: “Drive to a beautiful secluded place, put on a sexy playlist, and enjoy each other and the excitement of this setting. Put up a tent, in your back garden if neccessary, and go camping together. Book a hotel room or spend the night on a boat. Think of something crazy, spend the night at the strangest places, and have sex. This will boost your sex life.”

Has baby-making sex become difficult? Find help

“You’re not the only one who has planned sex. I always jokingly call it ‘sex on commando’. No matter how positive you are and how much you try to make it fun, there will be moments where having baby-making sex really sucks. Guilt, occassional jealousy, and anger: these are feelings I experienced that you might recognize yourself. The longer it takes, the harder it gets”, Nina says. “If you feel like it gets more difficult to handle every time, then talk about it. You partner is there to support you, but sometimes it’s also nice to talk about it to someone else. For example someone who is in the same situation as you. A sexologist or psychologist can help you as well. Don’t be ashamed, talk about it openly and honestly, and take every help you can get to make baby-making sex and living in the uncertainty as beautiful as possible.”