Pussy: a nickname we should take back?

The popularity of the word “pussy” continues unabated. From rappers to pop icons and from pimply-faced teenagers to a certain former president, the term has been used for centuries and not always in the most female-friendly way. But where did it come from? And is it time to reclaim the word?

The controversy around pussy

Many women’s groups think so. After former President Trump’s Access Hollywood tape was leaked, thousands of women marched to denounce misogyny. On the 2005 tape, we heard Trump bragging about sexual assault. He bragged that he could grab women “by the pussy” with impunity because he was such a big celebrity.

That leaked tape breathed new life and rage into feminism. Women were done with it, wrote the word pussy on their shirts and banners, and decided to embrace the term as a slogan. The day after Trump’s inauguration, they stormed the streets, wearing pink pussy hats and T-shirts with exploding cats on them.

How can pompous macho idiots like Trump grab us by the pussy? It’s ours and they should keep their uninvited hands off of it.

At the same time, there are women who view this development with dismay. They argue that after years of the status quo, we’re in the midst of a powerful feminist revolution. At last, we’re standing united against patriarchy, sexual harassment, and sexual violence. In such a revolution, it’s not appropriate to use derogatory and vulgar terms like pussy.

Where does the word pussy come from?

But before we decide what to do with the offending word, it’s important to understand its history. Where did the term come from? Why did we use it? And what meaning has it acquired over the centuries?

Pussy and the Old Norse pouch

Apparently, there’s considerable etymological debate about the origin of the term pussy. According to one theory, the word derives from the Old Norse word puss, which means pouch. In Low German, they spoke of puse, which means vulva. And if you consider that the French la chatte can mean both cat and vulva, things already get much clearer.

That association with cats is quite plausible. Both the animal and the cat between our legs are soft, warm, and fluffy. Even a fully shaved punani is a bit like a naked cat. Well, sort of.

The word first appeared in the 16^th century. At the time, it had no sexual connotations whatsoever, but it was rather a sweet nickname for women in general. It was not until the 19^th century that “pussy” became the sexually charged term it still is today.

Porn and pussy

So how did “pouch” and “sweet nickname” evolve into one of the most controversial words in the English language? Thanks to porn, of course.

Although the word became a synonym for vagina as early as the 19^th century, it only really came into vogue when pornographic films entered society and gave the vocabulary surrounding sex a serious boost. Sweet, innocent flatteries were a thing of the past. Pussy became a part of slang and had a derogatory ring to it – one that reduced women to sexual objects, as if they were nothing more than the vulva between their legs.

It’s not for nothing that the term is mainly used by men. According to researchers, it’s hardly ever used in groups of women or in mixed groups. And that’s not surprising if you look at the objectifying undertone of the word. Women often feel uncomfortable with the term and men are well aware that it’s not okay to talk about pussies in a group full of women.

Pussy as weak

From cute nickname to derogatory porn slang. Still, it could be worse. Another origin of pussy is said to be the Latin word pusillanimous, an adjective for a cowardly, weak, and despondent figure. It was associated with male weakness, but few men would make the link between its Latin roots and its contemporary meaning.

The link between women and weakness, on the other hand, is one many found easy to make. Pussy has also become a way to insult men perceived as weak, not sufficiently masculine or who do not meet the offender’s expectations for males. We teach our boys not to cry or complain, otherwise  they are pussies. And no one thinks of their Latin roots… we think of women, because they’re seen as weak.

Pussy-whipped

Men who are dominated by women are also called pussy-whipped. It symbolises a manipulative power balance in which women withhold sex from their husbands to get their way. The man’s weakness is his desire for sex and his willingness to weaken his own position for a romp in the hay. This hus combines the two main uses  of the word pussy.

You can laugh this off, but in principle, it’s just as insulting as calling a frightened boy a “faggot” in English., a derogatory term for homosexuals.

Here too, the white, heterosexual man is seen as the norm. Men who do not meet the corresponding standards are then often called out using terms associated with women or homosexuals, reflecting the generations of dismissing women and homosexual men as sources of ridicule.

Woman with balls

But where does the idea that women are weak come from? Writer and feminist Sarah Marcus-Donelly has some ideas about that. In her article for The Huffington Post, she points out that vaginas are not necessarily at an advantage in our society. They’re dominated, they’re raped, and they’re standing lower on the ladder than penises and the men attached to them. So don’t be a pussy, because bad things happen to pussies.

Men don’t ridicule women just in sports canteens or at the bar. It’s an institutionalised phenomenon. Even the former president of the United States could proudly declare that he had grabbed women by the pussy without any real consequences for his presidency. Just like the countless other derogatory remarks about women did not really have consequences for him.

That’s why it’s not surprising if women suddenly embrace male characteristics in the workplace and proudly proclaim that they’ve “got balls”, as if that were an achievement to be aspired to. But is that really so enviable? As Stella Bergsma, author of Pussy Album, said in an interview: “I don’t want to be a woman with balls. What am I supposed to do with those soft meat pockets between my legs? I have a fine, weatherproof pussy!”

Reclaiming the word pussy

Stella has a strong point there. Why do we say that women should stand up and show some balls? Those balls are not that strong. Ever seen a man get kicked in the crotch? Call an ambulance, because that vomiting heap of misery thinks he’s about to die an inglorious death. Apparently, balls are strong because they’re attached to men. Makes sense… right?

Upgrade

Not really. Because what on earth is weak about a vagina? Vaginas are powerful and mighty. They push babies into the world. That women are still seen as weak and fragile is seriously surprising. And insulting. So yes, the word pussy deserves an upgrade.

Not that it is always easy to change disparaging language. After all, there are always two camps. One camp believes that abused terms no longer deserve a place in the vocabulary, and that these words perpetuate misogyny, while the other camp embraces the contested word as a slogan and gives it a completely new meaning.

The same thing is happening with the word queer. The young LGBTQIA+ generation has embraced the word, while the older generation remembers only too well how they were beaten up by homophobic bullies.

Trumpian macho man

It’s also fine to have different ideas about controversial words, but that doesn’t mean we should avoid them or hide them away. It’s when we dust off oppressive words and hurl them into the world in a brand-new way that we have the chance to drive change.

For example, Sheila Embleton, a language professor at York University in Toronto, says that the derogatory connotation of a word disappears when that word is claimed by those who were slighted by it. In addition, language is constantly changing, so we should always be aware of the possibility of transforming a word like pussy from something weak to something strong.

So try to reclaim the word. Fill it with all the positive meanings you can think of. For example, see it as a symbol of freedom, of sexual pleasure, or of the incredible power released during birth.

And then throw it back in the face of a Trumpian macho man. Let’s see who’s the strong one then.